{Opinion Weigh-In} Love or Dreams: You Decide!
Last night, I came across a question that April Mason posted to her Facebook wall:
The Question: If you were presented with two choice at the same time and NO concessions could be made, which would you choose? SCENARIO: You’ve been given an opportunity of a life time which happen to be your DREAM job or business deal. You’ve been waiting all of your life for this moment. At the same time you meet the love you’ve always wanted, but to have it it requires you to leave where the dream opportunity is and live a more modest and settled life. The dream opportunity will NEVER come again, what would you do?
To be clear, if you take the dream opportunity, “true love” — that once-in-a-lifetime stuff — will never present itself again. If you take the love of your life, the dream opportunity will never present itself again either. So, with that in mind, answer the question for yourself before reading further…
My Answer
I wouldn’t give up the love of my life for ANYTHING. And I do mean anything.
The reason that I say I wouldn’t give up the love of my life for anything is because I know there is NOTHING more valuable than having someone you love who loves you and you can trust your life in their hands beyond a shadow of a doubt. Barry played in the NFL… he got a taste of living out his dream. And guess what? He was unhappy with it. He loved the game and I’m not saying it wasn’t tough for him when he was injured and had to give it up, but the experience of it wasn’t at all how he imagined all throughout his life. It wasn’t about the game. Players weren’t passionate about the game with a pure, natural-driven ambition. It was about politics and money, which was disappointing for someone who had such a primal love for the game itself. At the end of the day, it wasn’t his dream that he was living. As a matter of fact, it was nothing even remotely similar besides the fact that he was playing NFL football.
I got a taste of living my dream when I was flown out to sing on the Today Show twice but I was miserable so far away from my family and it was lonely in NYC by myself. I always imagined having a career in music — touring the world, performing in concerts… living my dream. But then as I reflect on those 5 days I spent having a little piece of that, I remember how READY I was to get home to my husband and our beautiful children. What I experienced when I auditioned for American Idol and The Voice showed me that the music industry isn’t any different than any high dollar business — like the NFL — it’s all about money and politics. It’s a scene I don’t fit in well with and the fact of the matter is that I would hate to sacrifice so much to follow that dream that in all actuality, it’s much nicer just having the dream itself at this point — and nurturing the dreams of our kids.
Through it all the one thing that remained true, pure, and desired was our love so I can testify first hand that even the most ideal dream can’t replace a love that only comes once in a lifetime. And another thing I’ve learned through it all is that sometimes turning a dream opportunity into reality isn’t at all ideal — often, it ends up not being anything close to the dream you had… yet you end up sacrificing so much to make it happen that in the end, it’s all you’ve got. Huge, fast-paced, quickly-evolving industries which normally populate the dreams of young people are normally configured in such a way that once you’re in, it consumes you and you change… I love who I am; who I’ve become, and I wouldn’t want that compromised. I know I wouldn’t be who I am had I grabbed my dreams instead of holding on to love with all my might years ago.
We live in a time where wealth seems to trump all else in life but I honestly believe that kind of love does only come around once and when you get it, you hold on to it at all costs! Period. God-sent isn’t something you send away! LOL If I told you even half of what we’ve had to overcome, you’d be speechless (much of it, my regular readers already know). We’ve been together 14 years, married for 10, together since freshman & sophomore year of high school, had 3 kids before I turned 20, survived teen parenthood, poverty, NFL groupies, having it all, losing it all, being broken, and building a life back up together. Most people who have known us from the start still can’t believe we “made it” … but that’s how it is when you have something worth having — at some point, you have to decide between fighting to keep it or giving up and letting go. When it’s all said and done, hopefully you finally know what you have together and you both guard it with your life.
What’s your experience?
What is more valuable in your opinion: life-long true love or realizing your dreams?
If you have an article or blog post you’ve written on the topic, I’d love to read it! Insert a direct link in the linky — otherwise, just leave your response in a comment below!
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16 and Pregnant: The Decision to Give LIFE!
This is the true story of Nick Cannon’s mom’s decision to NOT abort when she was 17 and pregnant with her now super-star son. You never know who your child is destined to be… they have a right to LIVE and it is our responsibility to give it to them:
Well, I was 17 and standing in WIC food lines. But then I was 21 and standing on a college stage receiving my degree despite dropping out of high school. Yes, I was 25 giving birth to my fifth child. But then I was 28 celebrating my 10th wedding anniversary with Barry after he DID stick with me for the long haul and give us all a great life. You never know what your future holds. I’m just glad my future won’t be full of sorrow, wondering what our oldest child would have looked like – whose eyes she would have, if she would have my voice, what her interests would have been, if she would have been a boy or a girl. I never have to look back with regrets. Funny, everyone back then said I would look forward with regrets.
When you’re carrying a child, it isn’t just a ball of cells. It’s a part of you, and like this song says, that child will always be a part of you whether you choose to give it life or not. Don’t listen to the world around you. Listen to the life inside you. I will never regret giving my children life and God has blessed us for realizing that we didn’t do things they way HE would have liked for us to do them, but we were faithful to Him in taking responsibility for the way we did things, and for struggling through the consequences, trusting God to make the next day better than the last… and He always has.
Sometimes I think back to all the people who talked about me instead of encouraging me, who said Barry and I would never make it together *and here we are after 14 years of being together and 10 years of marriage, stronger and happier and doing better than ever* … and I just want to go back and say, “LOOK AT ME NOW!” ;) A child is never the end of your life. They are the beginning. The only time having a kid can ruin your life is when you give up on living because you had them. I am who I am today because of my kids and I am so grateful to God for blessing us with each and every one of them! They’ve taught us and enriched our lives more than we could ever put into words, and my prayer is that over the years we are able to return the favor.
Life goes full circle.
How Important is a Lifestyle of Evangelism to YOU?
This question is one that brings about feelings of confusion and disappointment in my heart/spirit:
How Important is a Lifestyle of Evangelism to YOU?
Five years ago, I had such a passion to share God’s Word. I spoke of Him everywhere I went; I included Him in all my encouragements… I involved Him in all of my greetings! I had a fire lit in my soul that gave me a great drive for a lifestyle of evangelism. I have come to realize my faith seems to be circumstantial. I hold on to God’s every promise, but with each of life’s monumental “surprises” bits and pieces of that have been torn away and left me habitually asking HOW I can evangelize — how I can share a testimony that just seems to keep getting worse? How can I continue to tell people about the wonderful God I serve when I keep getting slammed on my face, finding no cushion between myself and the ground? I don’t feel that I can shout about God’s goodness out of my admittedly bitter heart. I don’t feel that I’m really qualified…
I give God the glory every time a blessing comes my way, but the thing that leaves me feeling empty is what comes next: the “blessings” are short-lived and we always end up worse off in the end than in the beginning. I feel lost and seeking guidance that never clearly comes. My husband was brought in by the NY Giants in 2006 and broke his hand in practice ONE DAY before contracts were signed. He finally was signed to the NFL (Giants, again) after two years of training following college only to be injured (severe patellar tendinitis) and released. As a result, we owed over $28,000 to agents/attorneys, $19,000 to the IRS, $6,000 to New Jersey, $3,000 to Louisiana, various other rather large debts including my van that was eventually repossessed and in the end were left with less money than we started with, a fraction of the money from his contract, and more debt than we could handle.
After that, he signed a Canadian Football League contract and found that his knee was in fact not up to par yet… then we begged the question of why prayer hadn’t healed an injury with what was supposed to be a 10-week recovery time… 8 months later!? Over the last three years, I’ve had the constant reminder that if he had never signed a contract, we wouldn’t be struggling so badly financially all this time. I guess my bitterness and confusion comes from the question of why God doesn’t protect us from things like this. We pray constantly to God that if something is outside of His will – if something will turn out badly for us, please close the door, Lord. PLEASE protect us from the dangers we can’t see; yet, time and time again… that doesn’t happen. We step out on faith as we are always told we should, trusting that God will make a way… and then, He doesn’t. The thing that hurts my heart is all the disappointments my husband has seen through all of that… knowing he had more talent, drive, ambition, ability, determination, and beast in him than more than half of the guys who are in the league but the opportunities kept falling through. I can relate. As many talents as I possess, the opportunities … well, circumstances… We kept leaning on Psalm 37:4 — that if we would delight in the Lord, He would give us the desires of our hearts. Unfortunately, things just always had a way of not working out.
I keep telling myself all of this is part of God’s will and that when He finally delivers us for good, it’s going to be an AMAZING testimony of Him pulling us out of the dirt and allowing us to give Him glory after ALLLLLLL of these obstacles we’ve faced. As time goes on, though, I feel like I’m making more excuses for the lack of favor that we see to the point where it honestly feels like what I am holding on to is not faith anymore but a fantasy. I am at this place in my heart where I’m asking if what I believe is what I believe because I truly believe it… or if I believe what I believe because I just need/want to believe it so badly so that I feel like I’m not alone in all of this? Five years ago, I felt like I had the answer to that question, unshakably. Now, not so much… and I’m here, still waiting for an answer. Who am I to question God, right? I suppose I now feel like if I don’t question God, my faith will never be complete. If I can’t live in expectation of the Almighty showing up in my moment of need, what good is faith to me? I’m holding on to the hope that He’ll touch my heart and give me rest and let me know undoubtedly that He’s there – that He’s here. When things happen to work out… is it divine intervention – a blessing? – or simply chance…
God, I really need to know :(
It’s not even about getting what we want or living how we want. It’s about spirituality — about that intimate relationship with God that we don’t feel anymore; well, I can’t speak for anyone else — that *I* don’t feel anymore. How can an omnipresent God feel so far away from me? There is this pang of guilt telling me that I shouldn’t publish this… that I shouldn’t think these things… should never say these things, but if I’m not honest about what I feel then how do I know that anyone is? How do I know that anyone who feels the way I want to feel about God really feels that way if I can’t express that I don’t? How can I know that they aren’t just hiding it because of that pang of guilt when they want to release it? I can’t hold it in because then it makes my testimony unbalanced. How can I proclaim something that I’m not allowed to question? How can I be sure of something I’ve never been allowed to doubt? How can I overcome a struggle that I never was able to acknowledge? So here it is. And here I am. And now, Lord, please show me… where are You? In Conformed to His Image, Kenneth Boa wrote, “Without a growing sense of desperation, we will not maintain our focus on God.” I can appreciate and agree with that… but seriously, how much more desperate and focused on Him can I possibly be?
Vague, but Oddly Specific {He Hasn’t Given Up On Me}
I admit things have been a bit cuh-razy around here lately. I’ve had people ask me how I can be comfortable sharing so much or why I don’t mind putting all the hard times out there with the peaceful. I’ve not been criticized – I’m not saying that at all. :) Those of you who have inquired, I do definitely understand the perplexity and the confusion you face when reading some of my blogs. I guess to put it very simply, I know that God has a plan in everything in my life. The reason I find it necessary to share what I endure is because I know that God is preparing me for something great. I know that THIS is not the end of the road. THIS is not a struggle that will last. No matter what THIS may be at any given time, it has its own purpose… and it pushes me closer to mine.
Vague much, Kathleen?
Sometimes that is best – to simply leave things open to interpretation. Many are called but the chosen are few. I refuse to be embarrassed or ashamed of circumstances that I can’t control. I don’t need approval or acceptance. I used to need those things… and because of that need, I started having a pretty bad life. <– Shockingly, that doesn’t even explain it all. … I don’t too much care about judgments people pass or social class assignments. I don’t focus my attention on status. What I know is that it’s unfortunate that “blessing” has become synonymous with “wealth” … but then again, perhaps your blessing is financial. Just keep in mind where your help comes from. Don’t ever put yourself in a situation where you begin to praise the gift and not the giver.
Very simply: I share what I go through because when God’s plan is complete, He will get the glory in my life. My testimony has been in the making for years. When it all unfolds, it will be so painfully evident that GOD is responsible for my deliverance and for my elevation and after God LIFTS ME OUT OF THE SLIMY PIT and SETS MY FEET ON A ROCK, MANY WILL SEE AND FEAR AND PUT THEIR TRUST IN THE LORD! {Psalm 40:2-3}
Don’t underestimate MY God. He’s not finished yet. I’m in a bad spot right now, no doubt about it … but just hold on. I’m on the come-up :) in JESUS’ name! He hasn’t given up on me … and I certainly haven’t given up on Him!
FIRE in My BONES!
I’ve been working on this post for like a week… It’s hard to really solidify exactly what I want to say. It’s hard to find the verbiage to properly describe the things that are going on in my spirit… the stirring that I’m feeling. There are so many things that come together so flawlessly in my heart, but for once in my life, it’s nearly impossible for me to find a way to capture that voice of spiritual reasoning in my writing.
Back in 2005, I bought Barry a book by TD Jakes named So You Call Yourself a Man… he started reading a chapter in it per night a couple of weeks ago. Better late than never, right? In all honesty, neither of us have ever really been “fans” of T.D.Jakes. We’ve watched him from time to time, but nothing really more than that. I happened to get the book because it was a combo (2 books in 1) for a great price so I snagged it. It has, since, been collecting dust… with the exception of a co-worker a couple of years ago borrowing it and reading it. That being said, the experience Barry has had within himself while reading this book has literally changed his whole mindset in just 7 chapters. Most people that know me know very well that I am fanatical about numbers (hence, me becoming an accountant), especially when it relates to Biblical happenings. 1 {whole}, 2 {confirmation/truth}, 3 {purpose}, and 7 {completion/perfection} are always very significant numbers in my world. Aside from those numbers individually, 666 {the number of man – Satan’s mark – the mark of the beast} and 777 {the number many attribute to being a numerical representation of God} are also significant. Barry called me over to the couch where he was reading one day and he said, “Look – the chapter on marriage is chapter 7, and it starts on page 77. You know, like you always say with the 7′s and the 3′s. It’s 3 7′s – 777.”
Whoa.
The thing that excited me was just how aware Barry has become of all the things I’ve talked to him about – how he notices things that would never occur to him if he didn’t really pay close attention to certain things I mention in his presence about the Bible. That, to me, says a lot. It says that he wants to know more about God’s Word – he is seeking the truth for himself. Aside from that, the crazy thing is that Barry is NOT a ‘reader’ … he occasionally reads passages in his Bible, but on a normal day the only thing he will actually read is the descriptions on Craigslist! LOL This book has obviously been speaking to what he’s going through. It has helped Barry to realize a lot of things about his emotions – that he’s not the only one feeling how he’s feeling – frustrated, confused, and angry about how life has done him in certain aspects. But not only that, he’s finding hope in knowing that if this is a process God is allowing, there must be a purpose for it - there must be something God is working toward… it must not be ‘over’ just yet. I started thinking he should have read this book a long time ago, but God knew what He was doing – because if Barrywoulda read it back then, it wouldn’t have made a difference because he wasn’t at that *point* where he would receive the message. The fact of the matter is: when he needed it, it was here and he picked it up. Glory to God!
I have just been adamantly praying for God to get us to where we need to be… not just together as a family, but each of us – spiritually. We had gotten lost; our faith wasn’t as strong as it should have been… I had become so angry and bitter because of everything we’ve been going through but God is really starting to move and I can FEEL it… Barry picking up that book just let me know that the Spirit is working and pushing him, touching his heart. I’m aware that I am basically rambling, jumping from subject to subject. I just know that the more I look to God, the more I realize He is good… and that He is helping me when everybody else turns their backs. I had been feeling like I don’t know where my faith is anymore. I finally said I can’t take feeling like that anymore; I’ve got to do something else. So I started back praying, starting being honest about how I felt. {I was trying to ignore my feelings which had led me to ignore the results of them – which was causing me to question God!} I was trying to hide all my anger and ignore my feelings, but then it would just all tumble out at once which was never a good thing. I felt like God had really forgotten about me. All the little struggles were wearing me out physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually! Why? Because I was trying to take them on by myself. I had stopped looking to God for comfort because I felt like He wasn’t helping, but now I see that He hasn’t left me …
He was getting me to where I HAD to focus on Him. I had no other option. Nothing else was working. And as soon as I turned back toward Him and submitted, He started working things out. I mean, the situation is still the same. It’s hard to explain. I just KNOW that it’s in His hands. I let it all go and I’m standing on FAITH knowing that He’s got it. I guess I just can’t do anything else. I’ve done everything I could do and failed miserably, so I finally realized that God was getting me to the point where when it all comes together, HE gets the glory and my faith is going to be more solid than ever. Now, I keep asking myself throughout the day, “How can I glorify God?” I just seriously haven’t felt this renewed in a long time. It’s like I have this butterfly-in-the-stomach excited feeling and I don’t even know why. I just know God is about to change things in a huge way. I know there is a breakthrough coming that NO ONE expected and it’s going to be so CLEAR that it was NOBODY but Jesus!
I could seriously scream right now LOL And it’s a strange feeling because a few days ago, I was CRYING and I was SO mad and hurt and feeling abandoned and confused because I was asking myself DOES GOD LOVE ME? IS HE EVEN REAL? AM I KIDDING MYSELF? AM I HOLDING ON TO AN ILLUSION AND TRYING TO CONVINCE MYSELF HE’S REAL BECAUSE I NEED HIM TO BE? But He has answered all my questions without a word. Without an action. It’s just something in my spirit telling me HE’S HERE and HE’S GOOD and HE’S WORKING on our behalf… without a doubt. Now I feel like Jeremiah – I’ve got a FIRE in my bones and I just can’t SHUT IT UP!!! lol I know by faith that Barry will be leaving in a few days to begin on a whole new path toward his purpose. God has been preparing this family for huge things and it’s been painful, but we’re ready… and we’re standing on the expectation of what is to come. PRAISE GOD for His promises, and for being the kind of God that cannot lie.
I am so thankful that the God I serve loves me enough to know the best plan for my life… I am in awe of what He will do when we don’t give up; when we walk right through the fire life commands of us because we know that God wouldn’t allow it if it weren’t going to benefit us. Psalm 40 says I patiently waited – that Scripture is one that Barry recites daily and it is now constantly on my mind. It goes on to conclude that many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord! It’s amazing… God’s grace is truly amazing. And so is the testimony He’s building in our lives… I don’t expect anyone to really be able to fully follow or understand exactly what I am saying, but when it’s all said and done… it’ll be a whole lot clearer! Just stay tuned… lol
Romans 8:28 – God Will Turn It Around!
Rom 8:28 – “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”
While on Twitter yesterday, I had the following conversation:
katjrobertson: God is not punishing you when he takes something from your grasp, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. (a retweet of @jhsands)
PERSON #2: So I am getting something better?
katjrobertson: According to your faith, be it unto you ~ Matthew 9:29 :)
PERSON #2: This is only for those who have a faith?
katjrobertson: It is by our faith that God is moved on our behalf.
PERSON #2: But that is a difficult question because there are also issues of mercy, grace, & favor… all of which aren’t dependent on us.
PERSON #2: Tell me the last time when you lost something that was replaced by something better.
PERSON #2: Isn’t it like you form a theory, and when that theory fails, you add more to it to “fix it” ?
katjrobertson: I’ve had an abundance of things in my life I’ve lost that made room for greater things to enter my life. Jobs, friends, items.
katjrobertson: I could blog about it if you like :) 140 characters doesn’t do it justice 4 all the ways God has blessed me in my life!
katjrobertson: My faith is far from a theory. It is tried & tested. God has always been on time in answering my prayers & delivering me.
PERSON #2: I am glad it worked for you.
I think sharing God’s Word is very important… but what is even more important is actually being able to give a reason for the hope that you have in the Lord and always being ready to answer adversarial questions from those who don’t share your faith. There’s only so much you can write in 140 characters (lol) on Twitter; plus when I speak on matters of spirituality and I cannot audibly SPEAK to someone, I would much rather organize my thoughts by blogging. This ensures that I am able to express in depth the points that need to be made. First, I would like to reiterate that my faith is NOT a theory – far from it. Faith, in my own definition, is simply believing in that which has yet to be seen… Christians have opportunities to exercise their faith on a daily basis. This is operable faith – faith that allows us to more closely identify ourselves to God: our problems / His provision. Saving faith is the belief that Christ died on the cross to atone for the sins of mankind so that we could be reconciled to God, from whom we are separated by sin. The type of faith I’m talking about is operable faith, which stems from saving faith.
Some people say they view faith as ‘believing the impossible’ but faith as it relates to the God that I serve is based upon the knowledge that NOTHING is impossible with God, so how can I believe the impossible will happen when I don’t believe anything is impossible for Him? (haha) One definition that explains my own perspective on faith a bit more eloquently than I did above was found at SpiritHome.com. The definition provided there for faith is “belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence.” Faith is something that begins small… usually with just a notion or idea… a suggestion, perhaps. Theology calls this ‘the seed.’ Then, through experience (water, nurturing), it is strengthened (grown) and solidified (protected, reproduced). Essentially, within our hearts, it is proven to such an extent that we can bank on God working things out for us. Our trust is shown time and time again to be not only rational, but continuously backed up by God’s action. I don’t have faith because I want something to believe in. People who have no-matter-what faith just because they need something bigger than themselves to blame for the wrong in their life or to credit the good do not have faith – they have fantasy. I have faith because in my experience, nothing else makes sense. If I had to search out reasons to have faith, I would never have put in the time nor the effort. God opened my eyes and in turn, I opened my heart.
I thrive on knowing that God has already implemented a solution into His design for my life… this knowledge creates within me the ability to patiently wait for that solution to be manifested at the appropriate time. God has always been on time. I welcome the experiences that build wisdom in my spirit. I welcome situations that cause me to be tested, thus strengthened.
I welcome circumstances that make me need God… make me call on Him so that He may remind me of all the reasons I have faith – all the reasons my hope is in Him. The request was for me to tell about the last time something was lost in my life that was replaced by something better. The list continues to grow. There are a laundry list of things in my life – big and small – that were devastating to lose… but eventually proved to be things God needed to relieve me of in order to place in my hands that which was more useful, more valuable, and more beneficial to me in the grand scheme of things. Any type of loss seems extremely disappointing at the time… it’s always hard to see brighter days when the sun isn’t shining. But God always has a plan, which we find by seeking His face when we feel shattered, torn, confused… and lacking. There are so many specific examples I could provide, but I think instead I will give a couple that impacted my whole life.
- My father… I felt such an emptiness without him, but over the years in getting to know him (a little) better, I have realized that having him in my life would have done more harm than good. God replaced him with my grandfather who was, in my eyes, the greatest man I’ve ever known. All of my standards, values, expectations, and ambitions come from him – and my mother, but I’m sure that hers also came from him being that he was her father, so that is why I say “from him.” When I lost my grandfather, God soon replaced him with my husband who is now the second greatest man I’ve ever known and who has had just as much of an impact on me becoming who I am as my grandfather did.
- Gymnastics… I was a very talented little gymnast when I was young. It was my release… it was my passion. I focused on nothing else, and likely would have continued had not 4″ of my bone required removal due to a bone tumor. What replaced this love in my life? Writing… music… two things I may not have ever cared to have time for had I kept the distraction of my athletic talent… not to mention that it’s highly likely I would have sought a completely different path in life, changing my testimony and perhaps not having my children or ever meeting my husband. Everything happens for a reason, according to God’s Will.
- Freedom… I was locked up in boot camp for several months as an early teen. This was initially one of the most traumatic experiences for me, especially since all the trouble I got into was a direct result of some deeply seeded needs in my life that hadn’t been met. I felt abandoned, misunderstood, resentful, and bitter. I felt as though no one cared; as though no one wanted me… as though no one wanted me to feel better, or to be better. What was my freedom replaced with? Structure… I was forced to develop an appreciation – and respect – for boundaries, rules, and authority. This changed my entire take on life and made me begin to consider exactly what I wanted to get out of it.
- Premature success… When my husband was signed to an NFL contract, we believed that was the greatest blessing in the world – his dreams were coming true which would open the door for my dreams to fall into place, but neither of us were truly ready to take on that type of pressure. Pressure causes change.
When he was released, it was a tough blow. All the plans we made were crushed. It seemed like a huge curse. But God replaced that with a promise… one you will soon see come to pass. How do I know? By faith. In the meantime, the preparation He has allowed us to go through was awesome and even though it has been difficult, I’ve never stopped being thankful and taking every opportunity He has allowed in order for me to grow and mature spiritually.
I could go on and on about all the things God has allowed us to be stripped of so that we would be in a position to receive His abundance. We’ve experienced temptations, health scares, insecurity, personal and professional loss, financial uncertainty: disconnected utilities, eviction notices, service interruptions, etc., attacks on our marriage & family… you name it, we’ve been there – but all of the disappointments and all of the changes in life’s direction only made us recognize God that much more… because He always comes through on time in a way that only He can. It’s always obvious that it’s His means of provision, no matter what the circumstance is. We rarely understand it while we’re going through it, and I can’t honestly sit here and say that we NEVER worry or that we have NEVER doubted… or that we NEVER get frustrated, or even that we NEVER have questioned God. To say any of those things would be a complete and deliberate lie. But one thing I can say without blinking an eye, without stuttering or feeling unsure, is that God has NEVER failed us… and my faith tells me that He never will. His track record is astounding and speaks for itself as to His ability. What I can attest to is the fact that he has taken this angry, uncaring, suicidal, drug abusing, insecure, broken individual and turned me into a vessel through which He transfers His love into an angry, uncaring, suicidal, drug abusing, insecure, broken world.
I’m not here to convince you that God is real. He is able to reveal Himself to you – and will. My objective is simply to share with you what I know of Him which is that when my lights were disconnected and I had nearly two weeks before I would be expecting another dime to enter my household, I received a check in the mail – a refund from school AFTER I had already received my refund – that very same day that I still don’t know what it was for. My objective is to share with you what God has done in my life which is to ALWAYS show up in the 11th hour, wipe my tears, and make it all okay. My experience with God is that over and over again He has delivered me from my troubles and even rescued me from myself. I suppose to answer the question in one sentence: EVERYTHING that God has ever allowed to be taken from me has been replaced by something greater. Period. Car broke down, no one would finance me; God stepped in. BAM. New vehicle. | Lost my job, making $8.50 per hour; God stepped in. BAM. 40K+ per year salary, prepared me for greater things to come. | Marriage in shambles, about to destruct; God stepped in. BAM. Still don’t know how we got to this point, but God does. | Desiring more time for my family, unhappy with my job; God stepped in. BAM. I work from home, comparable salary… I work in my jammies! I have no doubt that God carefully orchestrated everything to bring me to this moment. This precious moment, with this precious mindset, with this precious faith. I also have no doubt that He brought you here as well… someone needed this today. Prayer is powerful. God is almighty. Faith is the link between them.
:)
I Told the Storm
Listening to ‘I Told the Storm’ the night before last, I was touched and led to ask myself what I am telling my storms. More importantly, I began to reflect on what I was telling others about my storms – and what I was telling GOD as a result of my response to – and testimony about – my storms. In pondering this question, I was taken back to consider what a difference there is today in the answer I find within myself as opposed to what it would have been, say 2-3 years ago. I can’t say that I never get overwhelmed but the change that has taken place is that now I know no matter how hard I try, I can’t handle it all on my own – these battles are the Lord’s. Now, I laugh at how I used to see things and I ask myself why in the world I would want to juggle all of that on my own, especially when God WANTED to handle it for me (and could do a much better job of it, by the way)! …
So – I suppose I won’t get into a long drawn out testimonial post like I normally do. I will just close with a note of encouragement: examine your natural response to storms in your life and start closely evaluating whether your actions are proof of the existence of your faith – or proof of a lack of faith! If you find that you are not operating in faith when responding to your storms, make a commitment to start giving control to God. In letting go and letting HIM calm your storms, your faith will increase! :)
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