How Do YOU Keep Christ in Christmas?
These days, it can seem to be nearly impossible to stay focused on why we celebrate Christmas… between Santa Claus, family traditions (cooking, visiting, traveling, etc.), and gifting, the holiday has become chaotic and highly commercialized. We’ve never done the Santa thing with our children, mainly because my mother never did it with my sister and I. Our belief is that because it is a religious holiday, it replaces faith with magic and fantasy (or at least delivers them all to the same keel) and I don’t want my children to find out Santa is fake and then question whether or not one day they’ll find out the same about God. It’s easier and feels more fair and less disappointing to simply be truthful with them from the beginning — we’re the same way about the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy… they’ve always known that Barry and I are behind all the fun and festivities :)
We’ve never done Christmas lists either until this year. I’m very serious about appreciation, graciousness, and respect. It has always been my feeling that no one should ask for particulars when someone is giving them a gift. You take what you’re given and you like it, use it, appreciate it, and recognize the thought that went into it regardless of whether it’s exactly what you wanted or not. This year, I decided to go against our family’s norm and allow them to create lists for suggestion purposes. I told them not to expect anything but that I would take their requests into consideration and use them as a guide to reveal what types of things they like — you know, for inspiration :) Do you know what I learned? The kids have no idea what they really want – they get more excited and are more pleased when we get what we know they’ll like. The things I bought from their lists ended up not being what they expected. Imagine that… As a matter of fact, we felt so bad for Avalyn that we ended up going today to get her a gift to ease the disappointment she felt about the poor list choices she made LOL
One thing that has been on my mind over the last couple of days is the fact that Jesus Himself only received three gifts on the day of his birth — Frankincense, gold, and Myrrh. Why is it that we work so diligently to provide our children with more gifts to celebrate Jesus’ birthday than He Himself received? One thing that will change in the future is that each of our children will receive exactly three gifts per year on Christmas Eve… one highly meaningful gift, one practical gift, and one gift that they either choose or that we choose for them from a solid understanding of their preferences. Being wasteful, greedy, and financially irresponsible are against everything the Bible teaches us about ideal life practices.
To answer the question I beg in the title, we kept Christ in Christmas this year by not having a celebration of gifts ON Christmas. On Christmas Eve, about midday, we each opened one gift that we purchased for the entire family which ended up being a Wii, a board game, three Wii remotes, and two Wii games — all of which will help us to consistently spend more fun time together. At the same time, we allowed each of the kids to open one gift that was labeled for them personally. Since Christmas Eve happened to be on Family Night (Saturday), we played games instead of having our usual Family Movie Night and when we were done, the kids opened the rest of their gifts around 9:30pm. We let them play for an hour or so before we put them to bed. We all slept in on Christmas morning and rather than waking up and everything being focused on presents, we focused on CHRIST.
The kids played with their new things, of course, but we told Jesus, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” and while I cooked Christmas dinner, I prepared for a new tradition — spending an hour reading about the events leading up to Jesus’ birth as well as Jesus’ birth and what ensued thereafter. Each year, we will cover something different about the life of Christ, spending an hour or so getting to know him better on that day and discussing how his life — and his death, then resurrection — impacts us daily.
Not only did we do this, but afterward we read Scripture passages about the Lord’s last meal and we had communion and prayer as a family according to the Scriptures. I made it fun for them by using Welch’s Sparkling Red Grape juice as the drink we consumed to represent the blood of Christ and cutting Christmas shapes out of the bread we used to represent His body. It is very important that our children grow up knowing why we celebrate Christmas — not just because it’s the day we acknowledge Jesus’ birth, but because it’s the day we reevaluate who we are, how we invite Jesus into our lives every day, and what we need to do in order to better align ourselves with His example in the coming year.
What changes do you believe your family needs to make in the future in order to more effectively keep Christ in Christmas despite how commercial it has become? What traditions do you already have or are you currently developing to support the true celebration of the birth of our King — the Savior, Jesus Christ?
Do you have an article on this topic?
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{Opinion Weigh-In} Love or Dreams: You Decide!
Last night, I came across a question that April Mason posted to her Facebook wall:
The Question: If you were presented with two choice at the same time and NO concessions could be made, which would you choose? SCENARIO: You’ve been given an opportunity of a life time which happen to be your DREAM job or business deal. You’ve been waiting all of your life for this moment. At the same time you meet the love you’ve always wanted, but to have it it requires you to leave where the dream opportunity is and live a more modest and settled life. The dream opportunity will NEVER come again, what would you do?
To be clear, if you take the dream opportunity, “true love” — that once-in-a-lifetime stuff — will never present itself again. If you take the love of your life, the dream opportunity will never present itself again either. So, with that in mind, answer the question for yourself before reading further…
My Answer
I wouldn’t give up the love of my life for ANYTHING. And I do mean anything.
The reason that I say I wouldn’t give up the love of my life for anything is because I know there is NOTHING more valuable than having someone you love who loves you and you can trust your life in their hands beyond a shadow of a doubt. Barry played in the NFL… he got a taste of living out his dream. And guess what? He was unhappy with it. He loved the game and I’m not saying it wasn’t tough for him when he was injured and had to give it up, but the experience of it wasn’t at all how he imagined all throughout his life. It wasn’t about the game. Players weren’t passionate about the game with a pure, natural-driven ambition. It was about politics and money, which was disappointing for someone who had such a primal love for the game itself. At the end of the day, it wasn’t his dream that he was living. As a matter of fact, it was nothing even remotely similar besides the fact that he was playing NFL football.
I got a taste of living my dream when I was flown out to sing on the Today Show twice but I was miserable so far away from my family and it was lonely in NYC by myself. I always imagined having a career in music — touring the world, performing in concerts… living my dream. But then as I reflect on those 5 days I spent having a little piece of that, I remember how READY I was to get home to my husband and our beautiful children. What I experienced when I auditioned for American Idol and The Voice showed me that the music industry isn’t any different than any high dollar business — like the NFL — it’s all about money and politics. It’s a scene I don’t fit in well with and the fact of the matter is that I would hate to sacrifice so much to follow that dream that in all actuality, it’s much nicer just having the dream itself at this point — and nurturing the dreams of our kids.
Through it all the one thing that remained true, pure, and desired was our love so I can testify first hand that even the most ideal dream can’t replace a love that only comes once in a lifetime. And another thing I’ve learned through it all is that sometimes turning a dream opportunity into reality isn’t at all ideal — often, it ends up not being anything close to the dream you had… yet you end up sacrificing so much to make it happen that in the end, it’s all you’ve got. Huge, fast-paced, quickly-evolving industries which normally populate the dreams of young people are normally configured in such a way that once you’re in, it consumes you and you change… I love who I am; who I’ve become, and I wouldn’t want that compromised. I know I wouldn’t be who I am had I grabbed my dreams instead of holding on to love with all my might years ago.
We live in a time where wealth seems to trump all else in life but I honestly believe that kind of love does only come around once and when you get it, you hold on to it at all costs! Period. God-sent isn’t something you send away! LOL If I told you even half of what we’ve had to overcome, you’d be speechless (much of it, my regular readers already know). We’ve been together 14 years, married for 10, together since freshman & sophomore year of high school, had 3 kids before I turned 20, survived teen parenthood, poverty, NFL groupies, having it all, losing it all, being broken, and building a life back up together. Most people who have known us from the start still can’t believe we “made it” … but that’s how it is when you have something worth having — at some point, you have to decide between fighting to keep it or giving up and letting go. When it’s all said and done, hopefully you finally know what you have together and you both guard it with your life.
What’s your experience?
What is more valuable in your opinion: life-long true love or realizing your dreams?
If you have an article or blog post you’ve written on the topic, I’d love to read it! Insert a direct link in the linky — otherwise, just leave your response in a comment below!
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Lessons in Caring, Part One: Generosity #NaBloPoMo
Ever since I was a little girl, I can’t pass by anyone in need without helping. A couple of months ago, I posted an article about Atlanta Diaper Relief and I got three comments from my mother, telling my readers stories of my life as a child and the spirit of giving that I possessed from a very young age. You can click each of the thumbnails below to read her comments:
Thankfully my husband is the same way so the kids get a double dose of lessons in humanity/generosity. I believe you can’t outgive God — whatever you use to bless someone will return to you one way or another so you’re never losing when you give from your heart out of a pure desire to help. It’s important that children are aware of how you affect the community around you and the people in it. No matter how little you have, there is always something you are able to offer… love doesn’t cost a thing. Time doesn’t cost a thing. Compassion, understanding, a smile — these things are free, but greatly valuable. Be generous with what you have to offer.
2 Corinthians 9:7 (NIV) “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”
Now, even our 3 year old will prompt me to stop when she sees someone walking or standing on the side of the street. Sometimes I have to remind her that EVERYONE who walks isn’t in need ;) but she surely isn’t going to let me miss them if they are! She’ll say, “Mama, is they less fumptanit (fortunate)? Give them some of you money.” I love it when I hear her adamantly demand that someone lend a helping hand. She’s learned that from observation — from watching me habitually stop to help. If I don’t have cash, we will drive through and use my debit card to order some food and take it back to them.
Once, in Louisiana, I had no extra money to offer in any way when the kids and I stopped to tell a man, “God bless you,” so I drove about a mile home, cooked some omelets and heated up the chicken spaghetti leftovers from the night before and took the food to the man standing on the side of the road. During that second encounter, he mentioned he didn’t have a Bible and my son bolted like lightening to get his from the van and gave it away so this man could carry God’s Word with him. These are lessons that you can’t teach with words, only by example.
(That story is here: What Can I Learn From a Homeless Man?)
My children may not always be obedient, kind, respectful, or considerate. They fight among themselves constantly and at times, they even “talk back” without meaning to. However, as frustratingly painstaking and difficult it is to drive certain lessons into their thick skulls a good bit of the time, I never doubt that my kids will ever think twice about stopping to help someone in need in any way they possibly can. Why? Because they’ve been taught that in their hearts not in their heads. Many things you can teach by speaking. The really important lessons… well, they can only be truly taught by showing. Generosity is one of those things that are taught by labors of love.
What do your actions teach your children?
How can you improve upon the example you’re already setting?
#NaBloPoMo:
For the entire month of November, I’m participating in National Blog Posting Month. Read more —>
Abusing Spiritual Authority: Beware of False Prophets #NaBloPoMo
This type of thing is why I’ve never listened to a thing Creflo Dollar has to say. I mean, aside from the fact that all he preaches on is MONEY (he’s a “prosperity” pastor)… but I want y’all to pay close attention to what he says and what the subtitles say in response to parts of his sermon on this video… then you ask me why I haven’t been to church in 2 years. These days, sadly, you will find more evil, hypocrisy, and deception within those four walls than you will anywhere in the streets. I’m not speaking out against a man of God or a church of Christ. I’m speaking out against false preaching and steering people wrong when you’re in a position of spiritual authority!
As unfortunate as it may be, I don’t trust anyone else with maturing my children spiritually without corrupting them and providing “truths” from a slighted perspective, which is why I teach them the Word here at home. April Mason is an amazing woman here in Atlanta with a strong spirit that yearns for truth and spiritual purity. I wasn’t aware of Creflo Dollar’s ridiculous video until I watched this response today that she published to YouTube back in June:
I completely agree. What about you?
I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below…
Giving Advice Usually Means Getting It, Too
You know what blesses my soul? When I have a conversation with someone to give them advice/perspective and I end up reminding myself of great life lessons in the process. Giving advice usually means getting it, too… As the words form in my head, I think of past experiences and the way I responded to them — both right ways and wrong ways — and what I learned as a result. Then I pass that wisdom (which was usually gained by doing something foolish LOL) on to someone else who needs it at the moment.
It’s hard sometimes to see outside ourselves… we live a certain way and we just assume that’s “normal” for everyone, but in reality it’s not. It’s just “our” normal. And we have to learn to accept that everyone doesn’t live our life. Regardless of what you feel or what you agree with, other people may never change… and that shouldn’t be your focus. Just love them in spite of what you see “wrong” with the life they lead. That’s what attracts people to Jesus — He doesn’t condemn us! He just loves us… and that love makes us want to be better — to be more like Him and live out His example.
There is a saying, “Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.” Don’t write people off. Keep praying, no matter what they do against themselves… no matter what they do against you — God’s still working on us all. No one’s perfect — we’re all human and we all fall short of being worthy of God’s grace DAILY. Every time you think of the wrongs someone else has in their life, take a moment to humble yourself by pointing out one of your own as well. You may find that many people have to be just as understanding with you as you are with others. :)
The world goes full circle.
16 and Pregnant: The Decision to Give LIFE!
This is the true story of Nick Cannon’s mom’s decision to NOT abort when she was 17 and pregnant with her now super-star son. You never know who your child is destined to be… they have a right to LIVE and it is our responsibility to give it to them:
Well, I was 17 and standing in WIC food lines. But then I was 21 and standing on a college stage receiving my degree despite dropping out of high school. Yes, I was 25 giving birth to my fifth child. But then I was 28 celebrating my 10th wedding anniversary with Barry after he DID stick with me for the long haul and give us all a great life. You never know what your future holds. I’m just glad my future won’t be full of sorrow, wondering what our oldest child would have looked like – whose eyes she would have, if she would have my voice, what her interests would have been, if she would have been a boy or a girl. I never have to look back with regrets. Funny, everyone back then said I would look forward with regrets.
When you’re carrying a child, it isn’t just a ball of cells. It’s a part of you, and like this song says, that child will always be a part of you whether you choose to give it life or not. Don’t listen to the world around you. Listen to the life inside you. I will never regret giving my children life and God has blessed us for realizing that we didn’t do things they way HE would have liked for us to do them, but we were faithful to Him in taking responsibility for the way we did things, and for struggling through the consequences, trusting God to make the next day better than the last… and He always has.
Sometimes I think back to all the people who talked about me instead of encouraging me, who said Barry and I would never make it together *and here we are after 14 years of being together and 10 years of marriage, stronger and happier and doing better than ever* … and I just want to go back and say, “LOOK AT ME NOW!” ;) A child is never the end of your life. They are the beginning. The only time having a kid can ruin your life is when you give up on living because you had them. I am who I am today because of my kids and I am so grateful to God for blessing us with each and every one of them! They’ve taught us and enriched our lives more than we could ever put into words, and my prayer is that over the years we are able to return the favor.
Life goes full circle.
God and Rainbows
Zoe and I had a detailed conversation about God on our way to pick up lunch today… It went a little something like this:
Zoe: Mama you know God?
Me: Yes. Do you?
Zoe: Uh huh.
Me: Uh huh??
Zoe: Yes ma’am, mama. I mean yes ma’am.
Me: Thank you. What do you know about God?
Zoe: God means Jesus. I love Jesus. Do you, mama?
Me: Yes. What else do you know about God?
Zoe: God made rainbows. He have one in Him house.
Me: Oh, does he?! What color is God’s rainbow that He has in His house?
Zoe: It’s red.
Me: Only red?
Zoe: No.
Me: No??
Zoe: No ma’am, mama. Ughhh.
Me: Well what other colors are in God’s rainbow?
Zoe: A bunch. Yellow. Pink. Blue. Purple. They all in Him rainbow in Him house.
Me: Oh ok. What else did God make?
Zoe: I don’t know what you talkin’ about.
Me: Did God make you?
Zoe: Yes. I mean yes ma’am, mama. Him did make me. And Him made you. And Daddy. And God made Briyana and Talia and Ava. Him made Tre too. And my brothers. He made Kylan and Kaleb. And Mimi and Pawpaw Chris. {She stops for a minute, thinking.} Who else Him make, mama??
Me: God made everybody and He promised to love them — that is one thing that the rainbow means… that God loves us all very much and never wants anything bad to happen to us.
Zoe: Oh. I already know that, mama. I knowed that God made everybody. And Him love us. I love Him too. And Jesus. And I not will get in trouble and make Him cry.
Me: That’s good, baby.
Then, in typical Zoe-fashion, the conversation turned to Chick Fil A. ;) I love having these conversations with her. My baby is so smart and it’s refreshing to realize how simple things things are in her mind. Some of us, as adults, tend to make things so complex that we lose sight of two important things: God made everyone, and He loves us all.
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