Yesterday was absolutely the worst day of my entire life. We’ve all had those momentary freak-outs when you look outside and your child isn’t in the yard anymore and then see them a couple of houses down playing with a neighbor’s child. Your heart rate returns to normal and you carry on. Yesterday wasn’t that kind of day for me. I will try to put into words the heart-wrenching anguish that gripped my soul for the 60 minutes Avalyn was missing after I was late to the bus stop. Ava is almost 8 years old and she’s a smart kid — surely if she got there a couple of minutes before me, she would just wait on the porch or go in the back yard to sit with Queen (our dog) until I pulled up, right? I pulled into the driveway at 3:37 and horror struck my heart — I got out of the truck and Ava was nowhere in sight. I went to four or five houses in our neighborhood — no one had seen her. My chest got tight and my throat started to close. I was shaking and panicking — my heart was racing and I just start babbling to God, “PLEASE help me find my baby, Lord, please! I don’t know what to do!” I could hear myself wheezing as I fumbled for my phone and dialed 9-1-1.
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Fibromyalgia: Will I Be a Burden to Him One Day Soon? #NaBloPoMo
The older I get, the more I am made constantly aware of the increasing burden Fibromyalgia places on my life. The ever-present pain, the chronic fatigue, the migraines… these are all things I’ve become accustomed to dealing with and I’ve learned to just accept that I’m either going to push through it or not. My body works against me … more and more. But even that isn’t what bothers me the most. The other day I was on the phone with my husband and before we hung up, as usual, he asked me if there was anything I wanted to tell him before we disconnected. When he’s offshore, we only talk twice a day because that’s all the time he has so we have to make every moment count. I told him there actually was something I wanted to tell him but I couldn’t remember what it was. That happens so often now… and it’s so frustrating. If I don’t write it down, it’s lost forever in a sea of mental fog.
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Fighting Fibromyalgia: Giving In – I Need Help
After a long and tearful conversation with Barry this morning, we’ve decided I can’t hold out any longer. He’s getting more and more frustrated with my refusal to seek medical care because it’s really hard for him to watch me experience all of this, which is understandable. I wouldn’t like to see him going through something like this. It is hard to describe what I’m feeling right now. To know that I’m giving in and admitting that I can’t manage this beast any longer is healthy in a sense, but there’s a piece of me that is terrified by this realization.
I’m coming to terms with the fact that I’m not in control of it — or maybe I’m having to finally accept the fact that I never really was. My way of dealing with it before was ignoring it as best as I could. That was my coping mechanism: to ignore it, and to ignore my own needs.
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Fibromyalgia: A Battle Without Scars {My Experience & Symptoms}
I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia back in 1992 (when I was 9) at the Shriner’s Hospital in Shreveport, LA about a year after having a bone rumor removed from my left tibia. Over the years, I learned to manage without meds because I was so used to the pain — I have been in some type of consistent pain since I was 6 years old and after having other doctors tell me things like I was imagining it or that Fibromyalgia wasn’t a “real” disorder, I was discouraged and felt like no one believed how I felt so I stopped expressing it and just learned to suffer in silence. Through my adolescence, I went through periods of depression but I always refused medication because I’d been told so many times that all of my symptoms were in my head and I didn’t want to take pills for something I kept being told was nonexistent.
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Should I Feel Guilty About Being Frustrated?
LORDDDDD knows I love my life… being mommy to my kids and wifey to my hubby is awesome and I couldn’t have designed our present or our future any better. God has been so good to us and brought us out of so much. I hope all that is to follow in this post doesn’t […]
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Fibromyalgia and a Trip to the Park
For the last few days, I’ve been plagued more than usual with symptoms of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome which is associated with Fibromyalgia. {You can find out more about the symptoms of Fibromyalgia by clicking here} I’ve dealt with a combination of the two for nearly 18 years and on most days, I can push through it and make myself get on with what needs to be done. This week hasn’t gone that way.
Despite having gone to bed much earlier than usual for the last week or so, I wake up feeling as though my body weighs a thousand pounds and no matter how much I try to persuade myself to get up and start the day, I don’t cooperate with me. It’s strange… the muscle/joint pains, constant headaches, chest pains, stomach pains, mental fuzziness, eyes blurring up all the time, and rarely ever feeling totally rested, I’ve learned to work through; feeling like I have the most extreme case of jetlag ever, I cannot work through. I just cannot get started… I lay there and just stare, wishing I could get some sort of jolt to jumpstart me.
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I’m Officially OLD. :~(
I never thought I would be that mom that couldn’t understand the latest “hip” new lingo. I mean come ON – I’m only 26! But, it’s official. I’m that old, outdated mother hen. My kids and their friends just came inside to get a snack and Briyana went RUNNING out the door. I told Talia […]
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