Me

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I may not have myself completely figured out but the one thing I know that has never changed is that I am unapologetically ME, whatever “me” means. I am not malicious. I don’t hurt anybody. I do all I can to maintain peace and just be happy. My overwhelming need to be understood usually works against me because most people don’t. We’re all alone in our minds – no one meets us there. We’re alone in our thoughts, alone in our feelings. We all need a peaceful place. We all need the chance to just be … human. I’m still trying.

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31 Things I’ve Learned This Year

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In many ways, 2014 was one of the best years I’ve ever had. In other ways, it was one of the most difficult. Overall, I can’t complain. I’m ending this year in a good place. Having had my fair share of hopeless feelings and finding myself anxious and depressed for the final quarter, I’m grateful for all of my blessings and looking forward to 2015. Life isn’t supposed to be perfect — the collective experience of it is worth embracing and I am 100% in love with mine, storms and all. I’m 31 years old – my 32nd birthday is Friday. Going into the new year, I’m sharing 31 things that I have learned through this journey called LIFE as I resolve to be more fair and forgiving to myself, to allow myself to be human, to make an honest effort to not need to be understood by others so much, and to seek out moments of peace.

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I’m Drowning

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I’ve used every talent I have. I’ve built something with every ability, every workable bit of knowledge, and every expertise I’ve gained combined with all of my personal resources and guess what I’ve come up with? Time. That’s it. Time that has come and gone and I didn’t even notice it because I’ve been nose-deep in a bunch of useless ambition that costs me emotionally nearly as much as it benefits me tangibly. It is empty effort. I’ve sown into the lives of many… and taken from my own soil to harvest in other gardens, which gives me great joy, but all in all what does it mean?

I feel like I’m only a part of myself. Something is missing. I can’t find it. I don’t know what it is. Ignoring it is as effective as hitting snooze on a clock. I can sleep on it for a little while, but eventually it’s blaring right in my face again…

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I’m Spent… but I’m Figuring “Me” Out

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Who is Kat? The fact is, my whole life I’ve tried proving that becoming a teen mother three-times-over didn’t ruin me – didn’t trap me – didn’t limit me. I’ve spent all of these years trying to be EVERYTHING. I’ve spent my whole life proving myself only to find that the only thing I am now is just spent. I’m spent on trying to give 110%. I’m spent on fitting a mold. I am just trying to be able to look in the mirror and recognize MYSELF. Not through my kids’ eyes, not through my husband’s eyes, not through my clients’ eyes, but through my own.

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2014: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! 10 Things I Never Knew About Me

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Here it is, 2014. So many things I wanted to accomplish over the last year and I didn’t. But one thing — one very important thing — I did. I learned me. My kids are all getting older — my “baby” turns 6 this summer and my older four are 8, 11, 12, and almost 14! Since none of them depend on me 24 hours a day anymore, I decided to do more putting myself first. I did what I wanted to do and I didn’t feel bad about it. So instead of my usual year in review recap, I’m going to focus on ME and share a list of things I learned about myself in 2013.

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Who I Am… Identity Crisis, Part 2

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I’m a thinker. There is always something going on in my head — sometimes even I don’t fully “get” me — I confuse myself. I like my circle small, solid, and secure. I am human and I have my fears, but I would stand in front of a bullet for those that I love without flinching. I love to dream, but I’m still a realist. I’m understanding. I’m cool. I’m polite. But don’t cross me.

I’m an emotional, expressive person. I want to understand even the things that I know will never make sense. I’m complex, but simple. I’m high strung, yet easy going. You want my life story, I’ll likely be happy to give it to you. But sharing doesn’t mean trusting and you knowing me doesn’t necessarily mean we’re close. I don’t plan to feel inadequate regarding who I am or guilty for the choices I make.

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Vlog Challenge – Day 1: Kids and Temperament

My 7 year old is SO unpredictable with her responses to EVERYTHING. I never know what to expect from her – what will set her off, what she will let slide off… and as such, I have a hard time dealing with all of her dramatic emotional swings. I’m to the point where even now 3.5 weeks away from her 8th birthday, I’m already dreading her becoming a preteen and I often feel like such a failure as a parent because I get so worn out with the constant up and downs that I’ve grown accustomed recently to just sending her to her room and making it very clear that I will not tolerate it. I don’t want to send the message that her feelings don’t matter, but HOW can I get her to understand that there are more productive and EFFECTIVE ways of communicating things to others and handling situations? Any advice? ;)

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Marriage, Adultery and a Christian Worldview

Marriage is not seen as a covenant anymore, but a simple agreement — an agreement that can be backed out of without anyone batting an eye. People throw away their marriages because of lust and then have the NERVE to step into the sanctuary on Sunday morning as if they haven’t sinned against God by committing the ultimate betrayal. You can’t become ONE with another person and then go back later and say,Nevermind!” It doesn’t work that way. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard someone say, “It’s complicated,” when they’re trying to justify infidelity, I’d probably have a better splurging budget. It’s not complicated at all. You either were with a married person who was NOT married to you or you were married and were with someone that was NOT your spouse. Either one is wrong. Period.

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Boot Camp Assessments #15 — Week 61: I Am Officially a Certified Personal Fitness Trainer!

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Unless you’re new to my site (and if you are, WELCOME, and thanks for stopping by… hopefully you’ll be back!), you already know that I’ve been an assistant trainer for Mega WorX Training’s evening boot camp class four days a week since March 4th. I’ve never agonized over a test quite this much! I finally got the courage to submit my final exam for the Personal Fitness Trainer course for grading after checking and double checking everything for over a week… It was certainly no walk in the park, but as of June 20th I am now a personal trainer!!! That’s right, I PASSED the final exam :)

Assessments: Today starts week 61… My 1-mile run time was 8 minutes 57 seconds. I did 73 sit ups in 2 minutes and 74 push ups in 2 minutes. My weight and measurements have been pretty stable; my waist is now 29.5″ which THRILLED me.

I start my own boot camp class on October 14th!!! We are in the process of organizing and promoting the class in order to fill up the participant roster between now and then, but it’s official and that feels REALLY great.

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Did I Mention I’m Savage? {You Can Be, Too…}

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So far this year I have done 5 races — a 15K (9.3 miles), two 5K (3.1 miles), a 5K obstacle and a 10K (6.2 miles) obstacle. Man, I love it!! My favorite of them all, however, has hands down been the Savage Race (the 10K – approximately) which I just did the weekend before last. I loved it so much that I am doing it again in October AND I talked Barry into doing this 25-obstacle race with me.

And if you’re like me and want it all captured on camera, you’re doing it all with one hand. Truly, truly badass. {Click here to view all of the obstacles!}

Interested in challenging yourself? Click the link below to continue reading — see video footage of my experience and grab a coupon code to save you a few bucks off your registration!

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