When I arrived on my blog today, I realized the last article I posted here was exactly one year ago … When my first born baby turned 17. And here I am, unsure of exactly how to even begin processing the reality that she is now an adult. The fact that I have not visited my own website should tell you a little bit about how the last year has gone for us. I started working full time a few weeks after her birthday. We moved to a new state. She’s changed schools twice. And just as I’ve been missing from most things I was involved in previously, I’ve missed out on a lot with her over the months.
I’ve seen her in passing. We’ve communicated in conversations that have been broken into pieces. We’ve misunderstood one another. It’s gone by in the blink of an eye – a quick blur on the timeline of her life. One of the most difficult and challenging parts of parenting is knowing how to balance your own ambitions with your role in their growth. Over the years, there is always something that suffers. This year, admittedly my career took center stage. And I don’t think I’ve stopped to say thank you to my family for the sacrifices they’ve made in supporting me.
Bri, I hope you know that I still saw you. I still saw your growth. I still noticed your efforts.
Last year, I left you with reflections… or rather, revelations from my experience of being your mother. I provided you with guidance for life – 17 bits of wisdom to make your life your own… to make your life worthwhile… to make your moments matter… to make your energy count. Today, I want to point you back to those – click here: Briyana: Reflections on 17 Years of Being Your Mom …
The freedom you’ve had over the last year brings about experiences. Experiences bring about perspective. Since what I wrote last year was such a long read, I won’t make this so drawn out. But I do want to add a little bit of advice to the mix…
Stay a rebel.
We won’t always see eye to eye. I won’t always address things in a way that makes you comfortable. You won’t always want to answer the phone when I call. I won’t always call. But at the end of the day, if there is one thing I want you to always be absolutely sure of, it’s that I love who you are. And who you are will always serve you well.
Even when I don’t agree with you, I will always support you. Even when I believe there is a better way, I will always believe in you and even when you are bound and determined to fight your way down the unbeaten path, you will always be okay. I know you will be okay because you are strong and you already know two of the most important lessons in life: When to walk away and how to not look back.
So try. Try it all. Step up to the plate and swing the fucking bat. One of the things I admire most about you, Briyana, is that you will take the chance and aren’t afraid of striking out because you know you have the potential to hit it out of the park! When there is as much greatness in someone as there is within you, you can never be afraid to fail… because success is inevitable.
Live your life, baby. It’s yours now. Live it on purpose and never pass up an opportunity to learn… to love… or to grow. Discover yourself. Start over. Take your own advice. Meditate. Love where you are at every turn. Take it all in and appreciate the hell out of everything that comes your way.
Lastly, never let pain hold your attention for too long. Negativity is unproductive and time is a luxury that you will find you have less and less of as the years fly by. So take your time.
I love you and I am proud of you. Those are two things you can always count on no matter where your path leads.