The one thing that’s missing from most relationships, whether romantic or platonic (or a combination of both lol), is honesty. Transparency. Openness. The reality of each person’s identity is lacking substantially in most cases. Why? Because over time, we change. Personal evolution is an unavoidable result of the human experience. We are told through societal norms and communicated expectations that in order to be trusted, we must be consistent. That’s false. In order to be trustworthy, we must be TRUTHFUL.
We become intimidated by the notion of challenging the established ideas people have about us so we feel boxed by our friends, our acquaintances, our colleagues, peers, significant others. We settle into an idea of who we are rather than revealing the reality of our actual selves. Then comes resentment. And apathy. And indifference. And depression. And we rob ourselves of the quality of life we deserve because we want to fit in. But what are we fitting into? A second-rate life? A substandard existence in which everyone else “knows” us but we don’t know ourselves?
I’ll pass on that… No thank you, very much. If being accepted is more important than being valued, you need to reevaluate WHY you feel the need to connect to anyone at all. I’d rather be ME all alone than surrounded by people as an outsider, living out life as someone else.
Maya Angelou once wrote: “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you…” Allowing others to truly know you is terrifying sometimes, but while bearing an untold story inside you may be one of life’s greatest agonies, that transparency is also one of the greatest gifts you can give to someone that you welcome into your life.