Today I realized something… kids grow up. As they grow up, it hurts… both you and them.
You’ll feel like you hurt more because it seems like they don’t care.
They’ll feel like you hate them.
You’ll wish they could see themselves through your eyes and they’ll wish you could understand more from their perspective.
Mother’s Day is special to moms of kids who are growing up because it’s sometimes the only day they show appreciation… on this holiday, we celebrate all the joys of motherhood but the reality is more often than not, being a mother means you live with only half your heart because pieces of it get broken along the journey and take time to mend and it’s never all mended at once.
I love my kids so much that my body aches with the fullness of it and I always will love them more than the very essence of my own life even when they hate me and even when they think I hate them.
I will always try to understand from their perspective even when they refuse to let me in. And I will live with half a heart as necessary because having them in my life fills the temporary brokenness and gives me strength even when our journey seems impossibly difficult.
I’ll love them when they are hard to love and I’ll be behind them even when they want nothing to do with me at all.
That is the reality of motherhood – we will be tested to prove the unconditional bounds of our love and no matter how many tears we cry, there’ll always be more – some of joy, some of sadness… some of pain and frustration and others of pride and excitement. And at the end of each day we will be willing to rest less than everyone else because we know if we don’t do what needs to be done – what everyone else left undone – that it’ll never get done.
And when we rise each morning sleep deprived and emotionally spent, we go right into doing it all over again.
Sometimes motherhood is a very, very thankless job. Sometimes we even feel like we are failing and won’t ever get it right… but there’s no feeling in the world like watching your sleeping child, at any age. Those stolen moments are our emotional reward for work that never stops – listening to those soft, tender breaths remind us of why we love our babies so much… they are a part of us, whether or not they grew within our wombs or were birthed from our bodies. A mother’s babies are her babies – and all of my babies are a part of me… and I am thankful to have them, more thankful with each precious breath.
I thank God and my husband for the most precious gift he has ever given me… our babies.
All seven of them, individually and collectively, equally and without condition, I love them and live for them.
They each have a power over my heart like none other that radiates from the very depths of my soul.
So, mother’s day is officially over now but all the moms know it’s business as usual when the sun breaks through the sky.
I love you, Kylan, Briyana, Kaleb, Tre, Talia, Avalyn and Zoe!!