{Opinion Weigh-In} Love or Dreams: You Decide!

Last night, I came across a question that April Mason posted to her Facebook wall:

The Question: If you were presented with two choice at the same time and NO concessions could be made, which would you choose? SCENARIO: You’ve been given an opportunity of a life time which happen to be your DREAM job or business deal. You’ve been waiting all of your life for this moment. At the same time you meet the love you’ve always wanted, but to have it it requires you to leave where the dream opportunity is and live a more modest and settled life. The dream opportunity will NEVER come again, what would you do?

To be clear, if you take the dream opportunity, “true love” — that once-in-a-lifetime stuff — will never present itself again. If you take the love of your life, the dream opportunity will never present itself again either. So, with that in mind, answer the question for yourself before reading further…

My Answer

I wouldn’t give up the love of my life for ANYTHING. And I do mean anything.

The reason that I say I wouldn’t give up the love of my life for anything is because I know there is NOTHING more valuable than having someone you love who loves you and you can trust your life in their hands beyond a shadow of a doubt. Barry played in the NFL… he got a taste of living out his dream. And guess what? He was unhappy with it. He loved the game and I’m not saying it wasn’t tough for him when he was injured and had to give it up, but the experience of it wasn’t at all how he imagined all throughout his life. It wasn’t about the game. Players weren’t passionate about the game with a pure, natural-driven ambition. It was about politics and money, which was disappointing for someone who had such a primal love for the game itself. At the end of the day, it wasn’t his dream that he was living. As a matter of fact, it was nothing even remotely similar besides the fact that he was playing NFL football.

I got a taste of living my dream when I was flown out to sing on the Today Show twice but I was miserable so far away from my family and it was lonely in NYC by myself. I always imagined having a career in music — touring the world, performing in concerts… living my dream. But then as I reflect on those 5 days I spent having a little piece of that, I remember how READY I was to get home to my husband and our beautiful children. What I experienced when I auditioned for American Idol and The Voice showed me that the music industry isn’t any different than any high dollar business — like the NFL — it’s all about money and politics. It’s a scene I don’t fit in well with and the fact of the matter is that I would hate to sacrifice so much to follow that dream that in all actuality, it’s much nicer just having the dream itself at this point — and nurturing the dreams of our kids.

Through it all the one thing that remained true, pure, and desired was our love so I can testify first hand that even the most ideal dream can’t replace a love that only comes once in a lifetime. And another thing I’ve learned through it all is that sometimes turning a dream opportunity into reality isn’t at all ideal — often, it ends up not being anything close to the dream you had… yet you end up sacrificing so much to make it happen that in the end, it’s all you’ve got. Huge, fast-paced, quickly-evolving industries which normally populate the dreams of young people are normally configured in such a way that once you’re in, it consumes you and you change… I love who I am; who I’ve become, and I wouldn’t want that compromised. I know I wouldn’t be who I am had I grabbed my dreams instead of holding on to love with all my might years ago.

We live in a time where wealth seems to trump all else in life but I honestly believe that kind of love does only come around once and when you get it, you hold on to it at all costs! Period. God-sent isn’t something you send away! LOL If I told you even half of what we’ve had to overcome, you’d be speechless (much of it, my regular readers already know). We’ve been together 14 years, married for 10, together since freshman & sophomore year of high school, had 3 kids before I turned 20, survived teen parenthood, poverty, NFL groupies, having it all, losing it all, being broken, and building a life back up together. Most people who have known us from the start still can’t believe we “made it” … but that’s how it is when you have something worth having — at some point, you have to decide between fighting to keep it or giving up and letting go. When it’s all said and done, hopefully you finally know what you have together and you both guard it with your life.

What’s your experience?

What is more valuable in your opinion: life-long true love or realizing your dreams?

If you have an article or blog post you’ve written on the topic, I’d love to read it! Insert a direct link in the linky — otherwise, just leave your response in a comment below!

Until next time...



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