Barry and I finally made our decision regarding more kids. Granted, we have 5 and most people are in awe of that but there is so much more to think about on our end… I’m only 28 and by the time our youngest is in middle school and our oldest is heading off to college, I will only be 35 years old. Now that we are finally financially stable, doing well, have a large home, and I don’t work outside the home, I would have loved to experience the JOYS of having a child rather than the stresses and struggles. Don’t get me wrong, we were always overjoyed to welcome our babies into the world, but that didn’t detract from the difficulties we almost always faced, with the exception of the NFL years.
As everyone already knows, we have been together since high school and were teen parents (our oldest three were born before I even turned 20) and now that we would be able to be a little frivolous and do everything we weren’t able to do with any of the other kids, it’s a sad time for me to realize that we now have to wrap it up :( Barry, being the amazingly, mind-blowingly wonderful husband that he is, pretty much left the decision all up to me because he’s like that — he loves kids and if I wanted ten more, he’d be totally fine with it if that’s what made me happy. Okay, so maybe not ten more, but you know what I mean. With my Fibromyalgia getting worse and our kids getting older, I decided that I can’t risk either not being able to physically keep up with another baby in a few years or having a child and then ending up having grandkids shortly thereafter.
My headaches, fatigue, pain… the Fibromyalgia symptoms are all getting to where it’s often unbearable and I don’t want to be so cruel as to have a child that will watch mommy suffer rather than be able to play. I’ve been blessed to, for the most part, be extremely active with the kids we have now and I don’t want different memories with any subsequent children so I think it’s best to let Zoe perpetually be the youngest — the last of the Robertson “nation.”
We’ve been trying to figure out whether he should have a vasectomy or not since Zoe was born 3.5 years ago and although it makes me sad, the time has come. He’s having the procedure done next month while he’s home… and since he knows how difficult this decision is for me personally, I thank and appreciate him for giving me free range to blog about it since it is such a personal topic for him… because he understands how difficult it is for me and that I need the support of my community here. *tear*
The photo you see here will forever be the last day I carried a baby… the last baby that would ever call me, “Mommy!” for the first time. It’s bittersweet, but I know it’s the right decision to make :) And on the bright side, when our children are all out of the house I will be barely into my 40’s and Barry and I will have the whole rest of our lives to enjoy one another since we gave up our adolescence to raise our children — and I’m sure we’ll have the company of what will probably end up as at least ten grandchildren as well!