Through the years, the question of how much — if any — privacy children should be afforded has been met with great arguments on both sides. I remember being a child and wanting my privacy. I can also remember having it and it allowing me to get myself into more trouble than I knew what to do with. When we are young, we think we know what’s best for ourselves when rarely is that actually the case.
Before I had children of my own, I thought it was reprehensible to even think about reading a girl’s diary or listening in on a boy’s phone call. It seemed to be such a horrible thing to imagine anyone going through another person’s things or snooping to find out information they don’t want you to have. Now that I have children, my views have changed drastically.
My children get a great deal of things, but privacy isn’t one of them. Granted, they are all relatively young — my oldest daughter is not quite 12 yet but I fully admit without remorse that I go through their pockets, check their backpacks, won’t allow them to visit at other people’s houses (there are very few exceptions), and before I had Briyana’s phone turned off because it became too much of a distraction I monitored her inbound/outbound text messages and calls, kept tabs on her activity on Facebook (before I deactivated it for also becoming too much of a distraction), and regularly have open dialog with her about things that I know she’s beginning to face at her age.
We don’t turn blind eyes, and we don’t let much get past us… not because we’re nosy parents, but because that’s what is best for our children. I think every parent wants better for their children than they had in one way or another and we’re no different. I always wonder, though, where other parents stand regarding their children and concerns about privacy. When you have a question, do you ask it? Do you try to find the answer? Or do you keep your distance and give your kids the space to make their own decisions and mistakes?
I’m all for allowing them to learn by their own mistakes, but I’d like to keep them from making the major ones. Some mistakes, you’ll be learning from for the rest of your life and those are the kind I feel like it’s my job to protect my kids from. Perhaps as they get older, I’ll change my mind. Who knows? I don’t see it happening though and I’m sure they’ll hate me for it for a few years but if I can get them through their adolescence relatively unscathed, it’ll be worth the fight.
What about you? I’d love to hear your perspective!
#NaBloPoMo:
For the entire month of November, I’m participating in National Blog Posting Month. Read more —>
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