LORDDDDD knows I love my life… being mommy to my kids and wifey to my hubby is awesome and I couldn’t have designed our present or our future any better. God has been so good to us and brought us out of so much. I hope all that is to follow in this post doesn’t come across as though I’m unhappy or resentful because that’s not it at all. I just need to vent a little because I’m a bit frustrated.
For the new readers: my husband works offshore. We just moved to Atlanta. We moved on the 15th of last month, he left to go back offshore on the 27th. From the 28th through the 3rd of August I had 11 (yes, ELEVEN) pediatrician, eye doctor, and dentist appointments with our 5 kids because they REQUIRE forms from each of those docs for each child to register for school here, then had school registration at two new schools on the 4th (one has 1100+ students; the other 1530+ students) which was NUTSO all in itself, school shopping at the Mall of Georgia, Marshall’s, Ross, Walmart, and Target with all five kids in tow ALL day that Saturday and Sunday, school started last Monday, did school clothes shopping AGAIN this last Saturday…
In the midst of all that, I traveled to the city to sing on 11Alive News on the 1st and auditioned for The Voice on the 6th which are the only two times I’ve have had anyone else keep them at all (had to have a friend from MS drive 7 hours to keep them for the audition!)
I’m still kicking it all out on my own because
hubby still has a couple of weeks left in this hitch.
Since we moved to Georgia, I’ve had NO time to myself except for when I was going to sing at the TV station or when I was auditioning for The Voice. I’ve got three kids in elementary school, one in Jr. High, and Zoe who is 3 and stays at home with me… their school schedules are so different, I have to get up at 6:30am to get the elementary kids on the bus THEN take a shower, get Zoe and Bri ready and turn around and take Bri to school at 9:20 because she is really uncomfortable with riding the bus alone (this is the first year she hasn’t had all her younger siblings at school with her plus I can’t say that I honestly want her riding a bus with 8th grade boys — just sayin’).
Oh and let’s not forget my wonderful truck malfunction
that had me at the GMC dealership twice last week!
The younger ones come home at 3:20 then I have to load up and go pick Bri up at school at 4pm.
Zoe is getting to where she’s lonely without the kids during the day and she’s not letting me get as much work done as I need to with the 4 hours I have left between getting home at 10am from dropping Bri off and taking time to eat lunch, then the kids coming home just after 3pm! Zoe constantly wants me to “snuggle” with her in bed and watch Little Bear! She always wants to go play at Chick Fil A’s playground thing for lunch.
The minutes slip by so quickly… and what’s worse is that people who have never worked from home have NO idea how difficult the juggling is. It piles on the frustration even more when people make statements about how lucky I am and how easy I have it to be able to stay at home… as though I sit around like Peggy Bundy doing absolutely nothing all day. By August 10th, I already had 17 design jobs lined up for the month and right now I’m down to 9 and some little tweaks on three of the others. I will be working solid every single day until Barry gets home. And speaking of Barry..
Barry is staying over a week to help because the rig is short-handed on the next crew so instead of being offshore 28 days this hitch, he’s gone 35 days but he still has to crew back in with his team which means instead of being home 28 days, he will be home 21 AND during those 21 they have him scheduled for some training course in New Orleans for 6 days so he won’t even be here but for barely 2 weeks. I do my best to not miss him, but I can’t honestly say that I wouldn’t bring him home TOMORROW if it were do-able, but it’s not. He loves his job and I love that he has a job with such stability and great benefits. I’m just really looking forward to the next hitch when he will actually have his full time at home.
These two go hand-in-hand (lol):
Yes, I know I am blessed. I don’t want to be reminded of that at the moment. I have a loving husband that works hard for his family and supports me in everything I do. I have five children that are amazing and obnoxious all at the same time. Right now though I just need to process what’s on my mind so I can move forward and do what needs to be done. If things weren’t so crazy-busy for me it wouldn’t be so bad, but it’s rough juggling everything without any breaks, no real down time, and no one to help. I can’t even go to the store without doing four heads of hair and dressing five bodies. Oh, and that’s not even including my OWN head and body.
No matter what I do, I have at least one child with me — and that one child is the most demanding and rebellious of them all. She’s in the “Terrible Threes” and yes, I promise you there is such a thing!
I’m really thinking about putting Zoe in daycare. I cannot keep going nonstop with no downtime and no time to myself. I’m running ragged and I don’t want to stop working because it brings additional income in the house but even as unnecessary as that is, it gives me a sense of accomplishment and I LOVE my work. I would do it for free. I won’t. lol But I seriously love it that much.
As I said, I’m so blessed I can’t even begin to thank God enough for everything but right now I really just need some help with the kids and as much as I hate it, I think the only option is going to be daycare for Zoe. She’s been home with me since January of 2009 so it’s rough to even think about, but a couple of days a week will do us both some good… she won’t be lonely for social interaction and play and I won’t be going nuts trying to keep all my tasks from blowing up in one big failure. I’m truly getting worn out supermomming it all the time!
Really. I need a freakin’ break :( So I talked to Barry when he called from the rig before he went to work about all of this and how stressed out I am and he told me to get Zoe in preschool because he doesn’t need me overloading myself and I am making very decent money in my business these days so the expense is definitely justified. :) So that’s where I am… getting shot records together and working on finding a nice facility to send her at least a couple of days per week. Wish me luck!