I can’t honestly say I don’t get knots in my stomach when I listen to some of the newest music artists. Having a singing career has always been my dream, but as life would have it – I’ve had no real opportunities to pursue it… I sometimes am jealous that Barry got to live out his dreams of playing in the NFL while my dreams of having a singing career got stunted. I realize that his NFL dreams weren’t necessarily fulfilled {his career was cut short by injury} but I never even got a shot at mine, ya know?
I look at some of the people who have record deals right now and {not tooting my own horn, but…} I know I have more talent than they do… I love my kids so much my heart hurts just thinking about how full they make my life… but there’s still that stab of “what if” in there… Being a mom definitely requires sacrifices but offers so many rewards at the same time. I LOVE IT! But I also love singing. I just keep hoping I get an opportunity before it’s too late for me.
I want so much out of my life!
I can’t put much into my life because right now, I’m giving my all to my kiddos. They’re still young, so I don’t have much of a choice there :) All that aside, I must admit… watching my 19 month old daughter grin at my 8 year old son… I can’t say I have any regrets at all in my life! Things could have gone much differently, but who’s to say I ever would have known the fullness of life as I know it right now with a husband that loves me and whom I adore and children who … well, let’s be honest – they drive me absolutely crazy LOL but they give my life meaning and put everything into perspective.
I owe my husband and my children everything – they made me who I am. But now, as I get older… I want more for myself. I need to do something that isn’t completely for someone else’s benefit. I want to be selfish for a while and focus on my dreams. I just hope there is time for that in this crazy life of mine before the clock winds down. It scares me to know that in the blink of an eye, my whole world is going to be different. My kids are going to be grown and time is going to have flown by and I will be looking back saying one of two things… either, “I had a great life, and am so thankful I got to live out my dreams…” or, “I had a great life, and I don’t regret not getting the chance to live out my dreams…”
Either way, my life is more than I could ever have wanted. It would just be awesome to have “my shot.”
I totally get that. I adore my kids and wouldn’t want to imagine life without them…but I dropped out of college and we got married and had kids right away so I feel like I missed out on some things.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with feeling a little selfish sometimes. :)
I got my Accounting degree but only my associates. I went back for my BA but am still 2 semesters shy of earning that degree. It’s tough!! I know how you feel.
Kat,
You are still young, and very talented. You never know what God has in store for you…
Rachel
Thank youuuuuu!!! :) I am praying He makes a way for something to happen for me in the next few years. I know He already put inside of me everything I need! *hugs*
Go for it! Take every opportunity you see – contests, local concerts, do it. I am rooting for you!
You can even do YouTube videos, some ppl have been discovered that way. Not many, but you can’t NOT try ya know?
I have dreams too. I know I am young but I totally get what you are saying – it seems so hard to watch young kids achieve their “dreams” (cause who knows if those are just the dreams of the pushy parents) when I haven’t gotten mine yet! But there is still so much time.
I will be watching for updates!
.-= Annie´s last blog ..Solo Socks =-.
Thank you SO much for the encouragement. I am really going to try to shoot for attending an American Idol audition this year. Without SIMON, I think my nerves won’t be so bad hahaha!!!
I say go for it! I love your voice!!
.-= Mandi´s last blog ..Horrible Customer Service Experience! =-.
Thank you SOOO much!!! :)