There is Little That Compares To the Joy of Parenthood

Lately, I’ve been involving myself in so much that I let ‘busy’ get the best of me. This morning, I’m reflecting and enjoying all of the things that make being a mother worth all of the difficulty that accompanies the title. Parenting is not always easy… if it is, you’re not doing it correctly. The catch 22 there is that there IS no ‘right’ way to parent. What works for one isn’t going to work for another… but if you’re doing your ‘job’ the one thing I can be sure of is that it’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do – but without a doubt the most rewarding.

There is little that compares to the glee in Zoe’s ecstatic laughter every time I interact with her. Her entire face lights up and she can hardly contain herself. There is no one else in my life that has ever valued me the way my children do… yet all too often in my life, I have given more time and focus to people who don’t even appreciate me – putting careers first and my children last. I think back and it hurts my heart to notice how much time I spent away from them – yes, I was making a living FOR them, but at what cost? I missed so much… and I enjoyed so little. I’m not making that mistake anymore. I embrace all the little moments. My confession? My reaction to Zoe is not much different than her reaction to me. When she interacts with me, I get all giddy and forget that I’m a sophisticated grown woman and I giggle and grin like someone just handed me the manifestation of all my biggest dreams on a platter – because, honestly that’s how I feel.

There is little that compares to the feeling I get when I realize Talia has turned the television from Spongebob to a children’s worship show which she is now dancing to and singing and clapping to a song about the glory of God. There is nothing that makes my heart smile as hearing her say, “That’s my song!” just because it’s about God LOL {even though she’s never heard it before…} It makes me feel as though I’ve done something right – I’ve given her a gift that will carry her through her life and will be there with her even when I can’t be.

There is little that compares to the way my heart flutters every morning when my four year old wakes up and - even when she is VISIBLY fighting her ‘bathroom visit’ (LOL) - insists on the first thing she does in the morning being to hug her mommy’s neck and say, “Goomornin, mama, ” in her sweetest little Avalyn voice :) It lets me know that for right now, I am the most important thing in her world – I am what she wants to start each day with. That one gesture gives me a renewed sense of my purpose.

There is little that compares to the intense inquisitive look on my son’s face every time he asks a question. I have never met a child with such a thirst for complete, uncompromised knowledge. His life is based on principles. He holds people at their word. If you tell him what something is, he wants to know why… and how… he wants to ‘get it’ from start to finish and when he ‘gets it’ he never lets it go. You can literally SEE the wheels turning behind his eyes as he takes what you give him and draws conclusions from it. His explanations of Biblical lessons are the most basic and simple you’ve ever heard but at the same time, so complex and profound. He is that way with everything – he has a hard time grasping exceptions to rules. To Tre, things are a certain way and you just don’t defer from the design. I know in time, that will change… but I love that about him nonetheless.

There is little that compares to the glorious combination of fear and pride as I realize that Briyana is growing into an amazingly responsibly, sensible, and intelligent young lady. Why fear? Because the future is unknown - I don’t know what life holds for her… all I know is that even though I still have the child in her to hold on to for now, very soon she is going to be stepping out to experience life out from under my wing and even though I know it’s coming and I’ve done all I can do to prepare her for the world outside the safety of my parental net, it terrifies me to think of the vulturistic deceivers waiting to prey on her womanly insecurity, her naive inexperience, and her need to feel accepted. My prayer is that she remembers the things I told her throughout the years and that the wisdom I passed down will give her the confidence to make good decisions no matter where pressures come from. I am already so proud of her… and it breaks my heart to know that she has to make her own mistakes, but that’s how it is – and I will be here for her no matter what consequences her decisions come with.

My children challenge me daily. Ok, SEVERAL times a day. Briyana has to be told umpteen thousand times to do even the simplest things at times! Tre is as BOY as they come – bouncing off the walls and wanting nothing to do with anything but television {except until recently, he’s developed a LOVE for reading and drawing – awesome}! Talia has always been my little clone – she has such a loud, determined, strong, fierce personality and even though it drives me absolutely batty a majority of the time, I know that her character will serve her well in life. For now though, her character often results in spanking and groundings for defiance, argumentative tendencies, and smart-mouth-ed-ness LOL Avalyn is in her give-you-the-meanest-face-ever and defy-everything-I’m-told-while-still-competing-with-the-baby-for-the-baby-spot-in-the-family stage and OH.MY.JAHEEBEEZ it is NOT a fun stage. She’s four years old and still stuck in the terrible twos. Zoe is the most active, adventurous, CLIMB-y baby in the entire WORLD. This child is fearless - she would scale a mountain if I would set her loose at the bottom!

Put all of that {and that is just the summarized version} together and you can halfway imagine why my blog is named For the Love of Chaos… but it’s what completes me and gives my life meaning. It’s not easy … but I love them, and it’s not supposed to be easy. Some days, my goal is to teach them how to conquer the world. Other days, my goal is basically to get them all through adolescence in one piece. Regardless of which one today happens to be, I’m determined to do my best to enjoy and savor every moment because I know that all too soon, it will be over. They will be living their own lives and I will be praying for God’s guidance to be what they seek daily… and I will be the hand of acceptance and love and strength that reaches out to them when they fall on their faces. My mom was that in my life and I am thankful that I was able to learn from the best. I fell so hard so many times, but she never disappeared; she never gave up; she never judged. She just held on until I was ready to let go again.

My ultimate goal in parenting my children is that I transition them NOT from my care into the care of the world – while I am preparing them to live responsibly and independently in society, my goal is to transition them from my care into God’s care. It has always been understood that they belong to Him; He has afforded me the opportunity to grow in Him by the experience of actually nurturing another of His creation and bringing them up in Him – then turning them back over to Him. Not that He doesn’t have them now… but when they reach maturity, I will have to take my hands off while His hands remain. I pray that over the years, I will effectively teach them how to trust in and lean on Him and not rely SO much on the security of myself and their daddy, but that I also ensure that they know the security of this home and our family will always be here.

{Despite the fact that there is little that compares to the stress of parenting…}

There is nothing that compares
to the love I have for my children.

Until next time...



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