This LONG Week (summed up in this LONG post)

Sorry – this post got LONG very quickly. If you don’t make it all the way through, at least be sure to read the last paragraph :) My week started out uneventful. Little did I know, it would quickly be turning into an all-too-familiarly chaotic week full of financial struggles, sick children, compromising situations, and headaches. Don’t get me wrong, my week has had its high points. But, it’s been completely lined with disappointments and added stresses that I, honestly, didn’t need right now. What I can say, however, is that God has always been good to me - and if I’ve ever needed Him before, I know I need Him now.

Monday was Tre’s first REAL football game. It was great being able to go watch my baby play the sport he’s always wanted to follow his daddy into. Their first game was supposed to be on September 19, but it was canceled due to rain… then rescheduled for Tre’s birthday, but also was canceled – this time due to field conditions, which was of course also due to rain. So, this game had been a long time coming :) And we enjoyed the HECK out of it! I had a pretty productive day… I even got my meal plan posted on time :) YAY ME! Barry even talked to one of the pro personnel liaisons for an NFL team he’s been conversing back and forth with for a few weeks about possibly getting a shot at a tryout – nothing concrete though.

Tuesday, we woke up to one of the worst things that could possibly have happened right now – but something we’ve been fearing for a few weeks as we’ve struggled financially… and had become an even more real fear since losing my job a couple of weeks ago: our van was repossessed. Now, we’re kicking ourselves for selling the Yukon and the F-150, both of which were paid off. To add insult to injury, the Cadillac Barry was driving broke down. Had we been able to see this day then, we would have let the van “go back” instead of selling those but we were trying to build back up our credit which has long been hanging on by a thin thread :( Hindsight is always 20/20, right? Let me kind of recap the events that led up to this.

In January, after dealing with THREE YEARS of abuse from my former boss, I decided to leave after coming back from lunch to find sweet tea and orange juice thrown all over my office as well as a tape measure thrown through a dry erase board which had also been kicked that I was graphing for a wall calendar and hadn’t even been mounted yet. I put my notice in and decided to work my at-home job full time. I had been with the company for 6 months and loved it. It was a huge pay cut, but it seemed worth it when I realized it was impossible to enjoy LIFE with such a demanding job in an environment that compromised my beliefs, enslaved me to my paycheck, and followed me home on nights and weekends. I was never appreciated no matter what I did – even after loaning the company over $1600 while the owner was out of town to avoid payroll checks being returned unpaid! Anyone else who would have done that, please raise your hand. Yeah, I didn’t think so. Not to mention, when you subtracted the daycare costs from my income, my salary wasn’t all that impressive anymore.

So, I walked in my office that day, found the disaster that once had been my office and I sat down, sent an email advertising my position to the local newspaper, and forwarded it to the owner (who conveniently had left the office when I pulled into the parking lot, knowing my reaction would not be pleasant when I walked in…) and that is how I put in my notice. I found, hired, and trained my replacement… even went back for the next two months to ensure the taxes were being done properly and had to go through EVERY transaction that had been entered in the accounting system to correct all the errors, then reiterate the process to the new hire. I did everything I could – despite the complete lack of professionalism that IS that company – to leave on a good note so that my husband (who was working for the same company) wouldn’t have to deal with them taking it out on him once I was gone.

The day after I left for good with clear intention of not coming back, they sent my husband to have a drug screen conducted. Since NO ONE ever had to take a drug screen for this company, I immediately knew it was only because they were trying to get back at me for leaving by making it uncomfortable for my husband. When Barry’s drug screen came back clean, they started cutting his hours back… then within a few weeks he was eventually flat out told that “his position” was no longer required and that they didn’t have but a few hours a week for him. They started calling him in for an hour or two in the morning and an hour or so in the evening. The owner would – very characteristically – make snide remarks to Barry and try to get under his skin at all costs. Finally, Barry took his uniforms back since, for a measly 8-10 hours a WEEK, he was no longer interested in working for such a person.

Since March, I’ve been working from home … then September 16 – one day after my 1-year anniversary with the company – I was notified that my contract for the campaign I had been working on had been terminated. My husband has been out of work since about mid-July after his side-business of selling cars ran out of funds and thus, here we are – behind on everything and myself now also with no job.

Basically, five kids + mounting bills + two unemployed parents = major suckage to the third power. Plus, it doesn’t help that we live in a small town and jobs are scarce, nor does it help that we literally have no one to turn to. Thankfully, we have GOD or we would be in some serious trouble. We had been getting further and further behind on the van note, but had been able to maintain it by making a payment before it got to the point of loan default… but once I lost my job, that was no longer an option and when that 4th note came due, they were in our yard with orders to reclaim the vehicle. Ouch. So that pretty much set the tone for the rest of the week as we’ve been scrambling to weigh options, figure out what in the world we’re going to do about bills, look for jobs, find ways to ride, and still maintain our composure enough to avoid our children finding out anything that’s going on.

… NOW I KNOW HOW JOB FELT! …
{and with that in mind, I am thankful we have a home and that our children are safe and healthy.}

So, all of that brings us to Wednesday… my husband started pre-employment orientation which ends tomorrow (Saturday) then he finds out Tuesday whether or not he is hired. This is an exciting turn of events, but still stressful because this is about the 4th time in the last month that he’s been oh-so-close to getting a job. The last place he applied, he just KNEW he got it. They were supposed to call Monday or Tuesday and, well… no dice. To top all of that off, Ava had been sick off and on since the weekend… and Zoe was getting that way. :(

Thursday (yesterday) was filled with a lot of running around and pricing engines for the Camaro that locked up a few weeks ago. It’s tiny… we’ll never be able to go anywhere ALL TOGETHER, but it will get Barry to work… get us to the grocery store… and if the three oldest kids ride the church van on Sundays, it will get the other four of us to church. In the midst of all of that, Zoe had been burning up all night, so I was back and forth calling her doc, running her to QuickCare only for them to tell me she’s TOO sick for them to treat her which resulted in us being sent to the Emergency room where my baby got a dose of Tylenol *it was too soon for another dose of Motrin* then a dose of a steroid to open up her lungs, a breathing treatment, two chest xrays, a flu test (which was, thankfully, negative), and a prescription for 5 days worth of prednisone. WHAT a day. This ended up being the FOURTH consecutive day this week that I had a headache… however, this time it was largely due to the fact that I had NOTHING to eat until almost 4pm.

Friday (today) we’re pretty much still at square one. I’ve been tweeting, facebook-ing, and myspace-ing for web design business and I’ve gotten a couple of projects, but not enough to catch up on the van or get the Cadi or the Camaro fixed AND pay our other bills – I mean it doesn’t make a whole lotta sense to be able to ride but then have your electricity cut off, right? And it doesn’t do a lot of good to get web design business if you don’t have internet access. LOL I keep wondering WHAT we went to college for. The job my husband found is one he could have gotten when he was 20 and avoided all those student loans, which are now – by the way – about to default as well. Niiiiiiice.

Anyway, the week hasn’t been all bad. It’s just that all the good has seemed to be tainted by the bad taste that’s already in our mouths from the obstacles this week has presented. Wednesday night, I decided not to just stick a ponytail in Briyana and Talia’s hair like I normally do; I needed something to keep my mind occupied, so I sat and talked with the girls while I did their hair:

I guess I will end this terribly long post on a positive note (as if ANYONE is actually going to make it this far LOL) by posting some tweets reflecting how I was feeling last night:

• Making ends meet? HA! My ends r so far apart, they’ve 4gotten they ever knew 1 another :( I’d be glad 2 get them close enough just 2 wave.
• I don’t remember things ever being this difficult before. Not even when we were in college. Now THAT is shocking. {Looking up}
• It’s not a good feeling to be in that place you used to say you couldn’t imagine being in. Thankful 4 what God is working
• If there is 1 thing all of this has shown me, it’s that u can’t count on people. BUT.. count on GOD & He’ll use those same people 2 bless u!
• There’s nothing wrong with admitting you’re hurting over your circumstances as long as you know that it’s GOD that comforts you.
• There’s nothing wrong with admitting that you’re in need as long as you recognize GOD as your provider!
• There’s nothing wrong with sharing your experiences as long as you realize that God’s not done with you yet! Your testimony is unfolding!
• There’s nothing wrong with admitting you feel weak and weary as long as you acknowledge that GOD is your strength!
• There’s nothing wrong with admitting that you feel like you’re going crazy as long as you know it’s GOD that clothes you in your right mind!
• There’s nothing wrong with admitting you don’t know what else to do as long as you also admit that GOD IS ABLE!
• There’s nothing wrong with admitting u feel like nothing’s going right as long as u allow yourself to focus on the fact that GOD is in control!

In all that we are facing, there is no escaping the fact that God is STILL GOD and just as He has always done, He will make a way. No, that doesn’t make it easier. The fire is still hot. The bills are still due. My head still hurts. But I know He will deliver us… and eventually, this will be another addition to our already-powerful testimony of how God provides reassurance of His presence by allowing us to face situations that only He can fix. This is one of those situations. Without Him, I don’t know what we would do. But because my help comes from the Lord, I know it’s on the way :) There will be an update – and it will be one of deliverance and breakthrough and miraculous workings of the Holy Spirit!! Believe that.

Increasing TRIALS = Increasing FAITH!

By the way, I will be posting another pretty long entry about how these situations have given me added confidence in our divine purpose, and how our trials provide confirmation! I figured THIS blog has gotten long enough already :)