BIRTHDAY time…

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Oh. My. Gosh.

So, tomorrow happens to be the first anniversary of my youngest child’s birth. That’s right, people. Zoe’s birthday is tomorrow. I have only one question:

HOW THE HECK DID THIS HAPPEN???

It seems like just a short time ago, she was this tiny little helpless 8 pound creature who did nothing but eat and poop… and sleep and cry. Then she started doing these odd things like smiling, sitting up, feeding herself, crawling, and walking. She got bigger and grew TEETH {which my breasts know all to well, by the way – ouch} and started making these strange noises that sounded like “Dada” and “Mama” and “nose” and she started giggling and pointing. And then… it happened. I looked up and realized that my baby was… A TODDLER!

I know, I know. I know what you’re thinking. You’ve gone through this four times before, Kathleen… what’s the big deal? Well, if you recall correctly, when Briyana turned one, we found out we were pregnant with Tre… so in some sense it was time for her to be a big girl. She would, after all, soon be a big sister. Plus, she was our first child. I knew there would be more. I was ready to experience watching her grow and develop and learn new things. I was SO ready for all the ‘firsts’! When Tre turned one, I was already about 6 months pregnant with Talia. Plus, Tre was huge – I think that played a key role in my not freaking out over him turning one… he had been wearing 12 month-sized clothes since he was 4 months old. It was far past time for that child to be one year old. And, again… another was on the way. I would get to experience it all again. There was no urgency in slowing down time. I could enjoy them growing at the speed of sound, sprouting up like weeds right before my eyes. It was fun to watch. Back then, it didn’t make me cry :( When Talia turned one, I was entering my final semester of college with a 22 hour (7 course) workload… had so much to keep my mind occupied, I don’t even remember her birthday to tell you the truth. When Ava turned one, I had just started a new accounting job and also had just started my first semester at Regent University majoring in Theology; life was turning chapters at that point and with everything else going on, I wasn’t trying to hold time back. I was loving my kids growing up – loving them becoming more independent and developing their own little personalities.

Now, it’s different. Life is kinda moving in slower motion despite how quickly the kids are growing up. I’m working at home… I’m with them all the time, and I feel like their lives are zipping by me while I’m trying so hard to hold on to them and savor their youth. Zoe is our fifth baby – she’s it. The last little Robertson. I remember holding her in the hospital and just staring at her, in awe of my final little creation. I kissed her little forehead and rubbed her little feet… I still love her little feet :) Now, I just can’t believe it’s been a whole year. It’s so precious watching all of the kids become who they are … growing up and finding themselves. It’s such a special thing to witness all of their quirks and to watch the light bulbs come to life in their minds when they’ve been just curious enough to figure something out on their own. And now, here’s my little tiny baby who isn’t such a little tiny baby anymore and as adorable as she is every time she does something new… as excited as she gets when she realizes she’s learned a new trick… I’m just so sad that it’s all happening so quickly. I want to go back … I want to just keep my babies BABIES for a while. But, here they are… so grown up. And, of course, I just keep saying, “It seems like only yesterday…”

Briyana & Tre