My son ran inside today with a gash in his leg and said, “I hurt my leg climbing out of the tree.” My mind immediately took me into my recollection of all the times we – my husband and I – have both told our son NOT to climb the tree. After making sure he was okay, I heard myself tell my son, “You would save yourself a lot of pain if you would just obey…” As soon as I said it, my spirit stirred and I had to acknowledge that I recognized what God was trying to tell me. I’m human, just like everyone else. I like to think that I try to hold myself to a high standard because of the position of leadership that I have accepted along with the ministry I have seen God drag out of me over the years. Even so, there are still plenty of times that I find myself in difficult situations and I start feeling “whiny” … I go before God and I present my scratches to Him… show Him my bruises… and I seek pity and sympathy when I know full well that all of it could have been avoided if I would have just listened to Him.
Teaching my children basic life lessons actually teaches me by reinforcing within myself what I already know… and forcing me to apply the wisdom I give them to my own situations. I find that the things I instruct them are things I feel God telling me at the time; it’s as though He speaks to me through them. I can’t tell you how deeply my spirit is convicted when I say something to my child and I immediately feel God tugging at my spirit saying, “Say that again, Kathleen… How many times have I told you the same thing?” I learn how to be more patient with them after realizing how patient God has been with me. How many times has God told each of us, “You would save yourself a lot of pain if you would just obey!”?
There is a reason we tell our children not to go into the street, to watch for cars, not to speak to strangers, not to wander off in public, not to play with sharp objects, not to run when they are indoors… there is a reason we warn them against certain things or keep them from hanging around certain people and there is a reason we do not allow certain behaviors. We don’t want them to be injured, or worse. We don’t want them to be influenced in the wrong ways or to develop bad habits. God is the same way – the things he commands us not to do are things that will hurt us in the long run. We don’t always understand – and may not even agree – much the same way as our children often don’t understand or agree with our reasoning, but in the end if they disobey it quickly becomes clear to them what our reasons are because the experience they have is often one they would rather not have had – and quite often, they have to come to us for help. Likewise with our relationship with God… we disobey, then we have to go to Him to pull us out of the mess we’ve made.
When you give advice or instruction, listen to what you’re saying. Are you following it yourself? Is God telling YOU the same thing? Open your heart. The moment you start to believe that you have all the answers or you can’t learn things from unexpected sources is the moment you could possibly lose the most valuable lesson in your life… or open yourself up to avoidable pain just simply because you were unaware of what God was saying to you. I love my children… I can’t say their disobedience doesn’t frustrate me… sometimes the aggravation makes me want to cry! But, they have to make their own mistakes just like I had to make mine; all I can do is love them the way God always has loved me and continue to pick them up, dust them off, explain where they went wrong, and hope that eventually what I say stays with them so they don’t go the same route the next time… I’m learning to always be prepared for – and compassionate during – their next fall.
I’m also learning not to be so hard on myself when my children don’t mind like they should or when they aren’t always completely respectful… I had gotten to where I felt like a failure as a parent, and I listened to people who didn’t even have children tell me what I should do or how they should act. Now, putting things into perspective, I see that despite the fact that God has spared no expense in guiding me and teaching me, I still fall from time to time! The strongest point to this for me is that GOD’s instruction is perfect and unflawed! If I can’t even follow it 100%, then how can I possibly expect my children to follow my instruction when it is not always consistent? On the other hand, realizing this motivates me to improve my instruction as well as my example so that I am more consistent and less flawed in my teaching and guiding them so that they have the best possible chance at retaining the information.
I love is when God teaches me things on two sides at once. Through one simple experience, He showed me something about how I receive instruction and on the flip side, something about how I lend instruction. BOTH can use some improvement… and realizing that – well, that’s what it’s all about!

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