It’s amazing how in an instant, everything you knew about life changes… in one moment, things can completely turn upside down. What’s more amazing is how your reaction always dictates what happens “next” and not just your reaction, but level of faith that is exhibited in and through the reaction. No matter what happens in my life, God shows me over and over that no one is bigger than Him. I’ve had people in my life who used tools/devices that even I believed they could hurt me with, but God knew otherwise. He knew that even in my darkest hour, even in the most vicious attack, no weapon formed against me shall prosper! God’s Word clearly says, “touch NOT my anointed!” … and guess what? My Daddy wasn’t playin’ – He shields me and keeps me safe.
What’s even greater about the God that I serve is that when I lose sight of that, He’s always faithful to remind me. My reaction to the blows I experience in life is, “whatever is in Your Will, Father… that is my prayer. No matter how much it hurts, Father God, I only want what brings You glory; because I know You will comfort me through the pain and in the end, You will show me the Promised Land.” As soon as God searches my heart and finds that I am sincere in my pledge to only want His plan… as soon as He knows that I am not going to beg Him to work things out the way I want them to go, but am going to wait Him out and trust that He knows best for me – the clouds start to fade… the sun begins to shine… the smoke slowly clears… and by delighting in Him for unselfish reasons, I am given the desires of my heart.
Recently I was attacked… I was tested and tried, and I did everything in my power to avoid what ultimately became one of the worst cases of personal betrayal I’ve ever had the displeasure of being involved in. I thought surely the damage that was done would take a great deal of time to mend – if repair was even possible. God had other things in mind; first, given the circumstances and the fact that the attack was unjust and unprovoked, it just didn’t make sense to me that it even took place. What’s more, it certainly made no sense that God worked everything out and relieved every ounce of the confusion the situation was infused with in a matter of two hours. Yes, TWO HOURS. So I began to really think through the events that took place and I realized it was all a test. I couldn’t remain angry at the person who initiated the attack, nor could I even hold on to the feelings of betrayal because I truly believe God only wanted to see how I would react.
Just like Abraham and Issac – it was a test; God wanted to see if He could seriously trust Abraham: would he be obedient no matter what it cost him… no matter how uncomfortable things became? God saw that no matter how much I was disrespected, I would not reciprocate disrespect; no matter how much my patience was tested, I did not give in to the temptation to act in a manner displeasing to Him. I kept reminding myself of things I tell people all the time, and I asked myself how I can expect others to follow my advice if I can’t… I reminded myself that God will never ask me who provoked me; He is concerned only with my response. I kept reminding myself that I cannot control others and if I allow the behavior of others to dictate my own behavior, then ultimately I lose control of the whole situation. More importantly, I asked myself how Jesus would react to me if I were behaving that way – and PRIDE was nowhere in the equation. (My first thought was that He would likely rebuke demonic spirits out of me, but aside from that … lol just sayin’)
Then, once the extent to which the betrayal truly went became known – that’s when the real test began. Wow… not only attacking me personally, but threatening the bond of my family?? When the initial shock wore off and my struggle with hatred and anger and temptation to retaliate subsided, I knew what God would expect me to do: forgive. All the other tests were futile – He knew that I would be able to fight and resist the urge to retaliate; He knew I could bite my tongue; He knew I could even be calm and patient… but to forgive someone who threatened my family unity? Now, that was a new one. That took the difficult task of looking past the person and recognizing the true enemy at work through their actions… it took learning the trick of disassociation and placing blame in its proper place. In doing this, I was able to see things through God’s eyes – loving someone who had wronged me because of the knowledge that they needed prayer more than condemnation… they needed forgiveness rather than judgment… and most of all, I needed to pray and forgive for myself because of the simple fact that I have no authority to condemn nor judge.
What a powerful life lesson… one I am thankful for. One that saved my family’s unity… one that restored peace to our home… one that brought about God’s favor and let Him know that I trust Him no matter where the chips fall. And another thing I started to see: with each trial comes an extra measure of strength. When the bond is tested and you stick more of GOD on the seams, you are sealed with an adhesive even super glue couldn’t touch! Each moment is an opportunity for a brand new life… a brand new lesson that can change things in an instant… embrace this moment, accept its lesson, absorb the wisdom that it presents, and move on having gained something no one can take away: assurance in the power of God’s love. It is because of His love that He allows us so many chances for spiritual growth – especially in the unpleasant things we face and the deliverance that we find through Him. Now THAT is some amazing grace… :)
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